Reply to Ill Sister Wants Me to Take Her Kids vs. My Newfound Freedom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, here's how it goes. I'm not ill, but I asked a relative to be there for my DC in case of emergency. She refused citing some obscure reasons. Basically, she doesn't feel like it, because their plan is to remain DINKs. That's fine, because she's well within her rights to refuse. However, she is dead to me, and no amount of Christmas presents, phone calls etc. will change that. DH is more lenient (his bloodline), me--not so much. They're done, and I choose to invest in relationships with people who give a fuck.[/quote]

Awwwww...PP. Do not assume that they don't give a fuck. Understand that A LOT goes into raising children. You know that. A TON more goes into taking on someone else's children. You should be glad they refused instead of A-lying and saying they would, only to change their tune if something happened or B-taking on the kids and resenting them.

You have to be very, very, VERY close to the person and their children--and so very rich you could afford to raise extra kids and outsource much of the responsibility--in order to agree to take that on without blinking.

If your choice is for them to be dead to you, that's your perogative. I would advise letting it go. Everyone's not built for that type of responsibility.

For the record, I wouldn't care if I was dead to my sister. We've never been close. She's never visited my home. And I've lived in this house for 15 years. So it is what it is.[/quote]

PP, I won't maintain a relationship with a couple that rejected DC. I let it go in a sense that these people mean nothing to me anymore. This is a broken cup that won't ever be whole again.[/quote]

Wow.  Drama llama much?  They didn't "reject" your child.  They (probably wisely) said that they had chosen not to parent and would not be appropriate guardians for your child.  That's not a rejection.  In fact, they did you and your child a favor by not agreeing to something that they felt ill suited for.

I have a younger sibling who chose to remain childless, which is almost certainly in everyone's best interests.  Had I asked that sibling to take my kids, the answer would have been no.  It wouldn't have been a rejection of my kids, but rather an acknowledgement that I made the wrong choice in asking them.  [/quote]

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