Reply to Would our DD feel out of place at private school if our HHI is $250,000

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[quote=Anonymous]These threads are fascinating, but I'm often left puzzled. Everyone is talking about whether or not children and teenagers "find out" about money or "notice" income differences. Why not be direct with them. Is there anything wrong with saying, "Hey, we're middle class. Some of your classmates are from families that are wealthier than we are. We are sending you to this school, because it's a great school with interesting classes and people. It is also an expensive school. We are paying the tuition for this school, because your education is important and we want you to be happy. That means we can afford X and Y, but not Z."

With teenagers, why not show them the budget and let them see the trade-offs. They can go to a less expensive private school and public, and there is money for bigger vacations. Or they can continue to attend school with their friends. Let them know what you are investing to make the school they love possible. If they don't like the school that much, maybe you and they are happier not footing the bill. But in any case, I would hope that moody year or two would eventually fad and they'd emerge with some understanding about money. They might as well puzzle it out now. If they want a lot of very expensive things, then they need a career that can pay for them. If they are willing to make choices and priorities, they can worry about what they enjoy doing -- even if it pays less well. Better to chew on that now, and not at 35.

I would worry if a school culture is actively excluding or picking on children who are not wealthy. But just realizing your economic situation (rich, poor, middle class) is just a fact to grasped sooner, not later.[/quote]

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