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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This happened to my Mom's friend. She wasn't too close to her but was good friends with her friends.

This woman, her husband and teenaged daughter moved somewhere in SE Asia, maybe Thailand. After a few years, they move back to DC and they've 'adopted' a baby. Everyone thought it was weird to suddenly adopt when you have a teenager. The rumor mill was it was the daughter's baby (she would have been 12-13 when the baby was born).

But as it turns out, it was the DH's with his Thai mistress. The DW adopted it and raised it as her own. Last I heard she and DH were still together. [/quote]

In all seriousness, no sarcasm, this wife is a winner.  She clearly understands the fate of her husband's child if she does nothing.  I give her high marks for clarity, compassion, and composure.[/quote]

Eh, I've lived in this part of the world and I hope you are right. The wife is either saintly for raising this child when the child may have had no one, OR they could very well be people who essentially pressured this child to be given up by the mother "you can give her less, we can give her so much more" etc , when any decent man would be paying $ for the child either way. I hope that not the case but it's not unheard of for these situations to be a horrible choice for the mother to feel giving away her child is the only hope for a good life [/quote]
The horrible choice the mother made was to sleep with a married guy.  All other bad choices followed. [/quote]

You are nasty, nasty, nasty and so is the poster who wrote the same sentiment.  I don't care WHAT happened to you, sad Mrs. Sanctimony, but only the most low, base mothers around would be so smug and cavalier about a mom possibly being pressured into giving up her child.  In fact?  With that kind of character, I'd say you're the rare bird who earned whatever pain caused that kind of perspective.

The wife who adopted the child in this instance has great strength of character.  [/quote]

You have no clue what you're talking about.

One thing of which one can be sure: the wife adopting the child isn't doing this for the good of the child. She's doing it for the good of the marriage.  If keeping the child is best for the marriage, that's what she's doing. No woman is guided by the best interest of someone else's child to her own detriment if there are no compensating factors.

In a "other child" scenario, there are no good choices.  For the wife, that is.

Choice 1, divorce and take everything that comes with a divorce.  Bad choice.

[b]Choice 2, stay and insist husband severs ties with the mistress and her child.  Bad choice and impossible to enforce.[/b]

Choice 3, stay and integrate the child into the family. Bad choice, seeing daily proof of your husband's infidelity.

So yes, the wife who chose #3, displays great strength of character but her motivation is the good of her marriage and her bio child.  Adoption may offer the path to  this. But you are misguided if you think the interests of the other child guide her behavior in any way.  Women are programmed to care about their own children and prioritize their interests above everyone else.  Certainly above other children. [/quote]

There is nothing wrong with Choice #2. That is called "insisting your husband honor his commitment to you and to forsake all others."

Shouldn't be impossible to enforce if the other woman and her kid are in Thailand, either.[/quote]

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