Reply to FI suggested I pay for my birthday?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Honestly the more I read the more worried I get about the rabbit hole I have dug myself into.

He has no debts. Works 7 months of the year and is home for 5 and does not work when he does. He has paid off his cars and credit cards, he has a lot of money in savings.

I have 30k of student loan debt and increasing medical bills with a recent serious illness diagnosis. I *did* pay for his birthday before I had a health crisis and had been saving up for a while. I have bills that unfortunately keep piling up, hospital bills, medical bills, and today my car windshield cracked. I am feeling the financial burn. I have a $1000/month co-pay for a supply of one of the drugs i'm taking. Plus, *we* are splitting the cost of the wedding.

I cried today after posting this. He has said he will "help" with my bills but has yet to do so and I've already starting making payments on my hospital bills, and he makes generic statements like "maybe someone will mysteriously pay that bill off" without actually saying if he is helping or not. I have money in savings but with the cost of the wedding and my medical bills my savings should pretty much be depleted.

Honestly, with everything that has been going on medically with me I was hoping that I would be spoiled for my birthday. Which I why I was so upset when he suggested that I pay for half. I was really hoping that we could go away for a day or two in lieu of everything that has happened to me in the last two months.

That is why I want to be spoiled and be taken care of once in a while. Dealing with a chronic illness and working full-time is exhausting. [/quote]

I'm sorry.  What you need for your birthday is not a vacation but a set of meetings and classes with a financial advisor.  You make $55K.  You have $30K of student loan debt, significant medical debts, rising medical costs due to a diagnosis, and are engaged for a self-paid wedding.  You should not be taking either of the vacations celebrating the birthdays.  Not only are you incompatible with your mutual spending, but you are completely financially irresponsible and your fiance has a reason to be wary marrying you.   The resort may only cost $250/night, but add in transportation and meals out, you are still talking probably minimum $700.  And at your income and debt level, you should be taking at most one significant vacation per year.  You need to pay down a lot of your debt before you spend a ton (and $1500 is about 5-15 times what you should be spending for a gift).

He balked because he has a more reasonable expectation ($300 instead of $700) for gifts.[/quote]

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