Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]-^ I am not divulging.  It just helps cheaters.  Like the whore doing the same thing mine did a few posts up.

Lady with AP of 7 years,  I had a break down when I found out about my spouse’s double life of 4 years.  I have severe PTSD.  I will never be the same mentally.  I had no idea this was going on because things were good at home.  It sounds so much like your arrangement.  Long term affairs are a killer to a marriage.  The absolute worst with very little to no chance for reconciliation.

What you are doing will destroy your family as well as his family.  It is incredibly selfish and wrong not to have told your spouse before you opened the marriage to other partners.[/quote]

It profoundly brings in to play what was ever real with a person you have known 20+ years.  You go back and look at every photo, every vacation, every major milestone with your children.

It fundamentally changes you to know you were betrayed for so ling by somebody that was supposed to be the one person that truly has your back.

Even if you stay, there will never be 100% trust no matter how much therapy anyone does.  If you divorce, it will color and cloud and make issues in any means relationship you enter.

It is one of the most evil things you can do to a spouse and your kids.

And you don’t have the balls to be honest.  Too much of a selfish person for that.[/quote]

Having experienced long term repeated secretive infidelity, this description really resonates with me - especially how it undermines everything you every believed about the cheater and your relationship and family life.  Very traumatic and has lifelong impact. [/quote]

New poster. Me too. It happened to me nearly a decade ago, and I still struggle. It's the most cruel thing someone can do.

[/quote]

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