Reply to No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] 
No, that’s not how babysitters work.
They don’t sit on call waiting for wedding invitations for their clients.

So someone with a babysitter for wedding A might very well not have a babysitter for wedding B.[/quote]

It was an either/or proposition. If a babysitter is available for a weekend during which 2 events are held, the availability of the babysitter would not matter depending on the event you choose.

[quote=Anonymous] And? Someone might like the bride and groom better for wedding A. Would you rather be told “I don’t want to spend $1000 on your wedding but I was really happy to spend $1000 on Sally?”. Is that “honesty” really what you want?[/quote]

Why would you need to be dishonest about telling people you cannot afford to attend an adults-only wedding? "I cannot afford wedding A; the childcare costs are not in our budget. I can afford wedding B; it allows children thus no childcare expenses."

If someone criticizes you for genuinely not being able to afford something they are planning, they are in the wrong.

[/quote]

You misread. Nowhere did I say anyone couldn’t afford the $1000– they just don’t want to spend it on you and they were happy to spend it on someone else. Isn’t it kinder for them to say to you that they just oh shucks don’t have a sitter? Do you really want that much honesty?[/quote]

Those are different circumstances.

I am responding to the circumstances presented here. [b]The issue is a family that cannot afford to attend an event because they cannot afford childcare. That is a legitimate reason to decline that event and attend an alternative event[/b] that does not require the expense you cannot afford.

[/quote]

Except you’re quoting me, so no there weren’t circumstances presented here where the guests are supposed to present their excuse and see if the host deems it “legitimate”. Good heavens the entitlement of thinking you get to make that call.

It’s “legitimate” to say to a no-kids host (if they’re rude enough to ask) oh yeah sorry no childcare even if what you mean is “oh yeah sorry no childcare options that would make it worth it to attend your event”.  If you want to test whether that’s what’s happening try saying “oh! WHN is sending four people and we booked a suite for the kids to hang out in” and if they suddenly accept then you know it was legitimately about childcare, and if they don’t then it was just about not particularly caring to attend your event but wanting to be kind about it when you asked them.[/quote]

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