Reply to For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sure, why not be happy for them. How is it affecting you?[/quote]

This happened to me, and it was upsetting to me as well.

It's because I think I had to mourn the loss of what I thought my relationship with my Dad would be.  And what his relationship with his grandchildren would be.

It took me a while to figure that the 20-30 years I envisioned I had with him would look totally different, and honestly, not what was I was hoping for.

You eventually come to terms with it, buts its ok to mourn/grieve for the loss of the relationship you thought you would have[/quote]

You need to stop playing games and have a relationship with your Dad and stop blaming others.  Lots of parents are not good grandparents.  I thought mine would be great and involved and they suck.  That's life.  It's not their job to raise my kids, it's mine.  It would be nice if they'd help in an emergency but they don't, so we figure it out.

Or, maybe wonder why your mom kept you from your dad and maybe you don't know the entire story.[/quote]

Let me clarify a few things.  I'm a 43 year old man with 2 kids.  Prior to my father leaving my mom, I would see my Dad 1-2 times a week.  Golf.  Workouts/Runs.  We both worked downtown so we would grab lunch.

I envisioned that relationship continuing and him being a consistent presence in my children's (his grandchildren) lives.

Shortly after my first was born, he left my mother, moved about 800 miles away and remarried.

I still have a relationship with him.  We see each other 3-4 times a year, and speak/text frequently.  But its different.  And its very different from what I envisioned for the future for my children.  I don't know what made you assume I don't have a relationship with him.  I never said I didn't have a relationship with him; I just said that it changed.

Nor am I expecting him to raise my kids.  What a ridiculous thing to say.

And why do you think my mom kept me from my dad?  How do you think I'm blaming anyone?  Your post makes absolutely no sense[/quote]

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