Reply to Can't wait to change my surname, but notice many women keeping theirs, is there a reason for this trend?

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Reply to "Can't wait to change my surname, but notice many women keeping theirs, is there a reason for this trend?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm late to this thread, OP (if you're even reading it anymore), but I have to admit that I bristled a bit at your words. Unlike you, when I got married it didn't even cross my mind to CHANGE my surname. Maybe it's a generational thing or something that varies by socioeconomics, region, political orientation, religion etc., but changing my name never made any sense to me. My DH wasn't fazed in the least, and I did not encounter a single problem when my DC was in school and had a different last name than me. No one has ever asked me why I didn't change my name. I've lived around the world on four continents, and have observed that the practice of keeping/changing your surname after marriage varies widely. There's no right or wrong way to handle it--people should do whatever feels right for them. I will say, though, that the notion that by not changing my last name to my husband's I'm somehow less likely to be "playing for the same team" (your words) than women who don't is rather odd and a bit offensive. I find many American women (and I say this as an American) have excessively romantic notions about marriage, including thinking that by taking their husband's last name they're somehow more spiritually/emotionally/symbolically "united" with their spouse than women who don't.

--63 y.o. woman who has been happily married for 35 years
[/quote]

I agree.  All the posts about how women who don't change their names are not committed or not on the same team or however else people have phrased it are offensive.  I don't ask other women why they did or did not change their names.  It's their choice.  I am not so immature and backwards to think I would know anything about their relationship based on that.[/quote]

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