Reply to SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Biglaw partner, and in retrospect I wish DW kept a foot in the workforce. She is bored, unhappy and I think she resents me. We are rocky now and if we split, it would be easier for both of us if she had a job.

FYI, I met with a lawyer, there is no lifetime alimony, but she would get 2-5 years of rehabilitative. I do not with her to be poor, she's the mother of my children and I hope she finds a good job, and soon.[/quote]

Do you have joint assets ? [/quote]

two houses and a retirement account. She will get almost half. I make a good salary but its true that divorce knocks us both down a peg.

She will have more in assets than if she married a teacher, but she will need to get back to the workforce. She wants to as far as I can tell.[/quote]

I bet she does, but it's very hard to catch up for lawyers who were out of workforce for so long. The ex spouse who didn't work is on a losing side. Both get 50% of assets, but the one who didn't work loses lifetime earnings of over $2mm, and alimony won't cover that.

I wish I didn't make this mistake and worked when I was married to a higher earner, at least part time. It was particularly painful when he dumped me for a high earning colleague. I was at home as our son is mildly autistic and initially it worked well. Until he started sleeping with corporate whores (all divorced, older with multiple kids). But it was just too hard for him to bear emotionally a family with sick child, constant therapies, school visits etc.

My exH literally told me "You are nobody and I don't need a cook in the kitchen, don't plan to spend retirement with you", as soon as our son turned 15 and started excelling at school.

Now he shows off our son and his achievements as fruit of his own labor.

[/quote]

You married a jerk and should have got out sooner and/or hired a nanny.  Not everyone has a marriage like that.  [/quote]

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