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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s very sad to see all these second wives waving their superiority over the first wife. The point of the OP, and many others, is that kids from the first family wind up with short shrift, and as the father redirects his love and attention, the kids are shut out.

I’ve heard fathers say: I messed up before and I’m going to get it right this time. The first set of kids are a reminder of the father’s faults and easier to drop than face.
This is not the children’s fault. Stop glowing over their misfortune.
To say it doesn’t/shouldn’t  matter to them shows a level of self-centeredness that negates your credibility on everything else. They are still his kids.

In circumstances where the second wife shows some genuine heart toward the children from the previous marriage, even adult children, things are likely to go a whole lot better.[/quote]

It’s interesting you blame the dad and wife.  What about when the mom cheats and is to blame?   She leaves with her ap and has her ap replace dad.  [/quote]

The children are not to blame for the mom cheating. The mom is not to blame for dad being too lazy or unwilling to get 50/50 custody. It is illegal to leave the house let alone the state let alone the country. A man who does not have 50/50 custody did not care enough to get it, even if he is deployed. There are laws to protect deployed soldiers. You can't just up and leave while someone is deployed. [/quote]

In what dream world are you living in.  Many dad's try but every state and every judge does things differently and often it's not 50-50.  Many dad's want their kids and want to parent.  Many dad, especially enlisted military cannot afford expensive drawn out attorney battles.  If a mom doesn't want the dad to see the kids, there are few things a judge will do except in a rare situation.  And, at some point, it's not healthy for the dad to continue to fight as mom will take it out on the kids.

Kids cannot complain if they or the mom choose not to have dad in their life.  If mom's just want the child support and refuse visitation, sometimes that's the best dad can do.  That doesn't make him a bad father.  After so many court hearings and exhausting every dime you have, what then?  Mom's get free support for child support but there is no free support or an office to go to and if Mom moved the kids out of the state, Dad then has to fly out for every court hearing and even to file which is expensive.[/quote]

I live in reality, where moms find the money and make any and every sacrifice they need to have their kids in their life. You live on the Isle of Evil Stepmom, where kids are to blame for dads giving up easily. [/quote]

Moms find the money from the dads but in our situation mom did not spend it on the kids and they regularly went without.  We’d send clothing and shoes and the kids would claim they never got them.   You live in a fantasy world if you think all moms put their kids first.  If they did, they would not cheat,  I’ve cross country with their AP, refuse dad contact and expect dad to support them for the rest of their lives despite being divorced at 30.   [/quote]

The only fantasy is the one your husband fed you.[/quote]

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