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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lazy therapists always go back to “mom.”

Ask how your mom was growing up, wait for you to say something negative. That. That’s it. That’s why you are having a hard time.

It may be true; However, it doesn’t make it her fault.

Bad usage : mom was a perfectionist. This is why you are a perfectionist. She was terrible. You can fix this somehow by blaming all of it on her.

Good usage : mom was a perfectionist. This is why you are a perfectionist. She is probably that way, because her mom was. Because her dad was abusive. Because of the depression. Or WWII. Etc. It’s just human nature for centuries. Patterns. Here is how you escape that pattern. Here is what to do. And don’t blame her, she is also human.[/quote]

My mom was abused and she abused me. I was abused by my mom and YET I have never abused any child, most especially my own. Before you credit my mom for me not being abusive, you should know she was an alcoholic who physically, verbally and mentally abused me and she neglected my physical and emotional needs. My father abandoned the family and didn't protect me. Why am I not a monster? Short answer: you don't abuse children.[/quote]

So your Mom probably was abused more than you or worse than you or maybe she grew up with less of an education or resources than you, maybe she had more children than you. Your life is not the same as hers. You are emontionally abusing an abused woman - your mother. [/quote]

Why did she not only not protect, but abuse me? She allowed others to hit me, too. When I came to her for help, she effectively silenced me. Her abuse and neglect of me desensitized me to abuse and contributed to my tolerating dating violence. I was nearly killed by a boyfriend when I was 16. 
I never blamed my mother while she lived. I was a dutiful daughter who worked to gainmy mother's love and acceptance, which she never gave me. Tell me again how I abused her.[/quote]

Your lack of compassion for her pain is violence.
[/quote]

She caused my pain. How would you characterize her? Also, why do I not abuse children?[/quote]

This gotta be trolling.

PP1: I was abused, but do not abuse my kids.
PP2: You have no compassion for your mother
PP1: WTF?
PP2: "Your lack of compassion for her pain is violence"

LOL. For the sane and evolved humans reading this, I want you to know: some others are not so lucky, they are neither sane nor evolved. They may seem in real life like your peers, but they are not. They are not capable of the same level of thought. They may be able write in complete sentences, but they are blocked as far as modern thinking, as in, stunted. Maybe they do deserve our compassion, but they do not deserve sound arguments here, because it is wasted on them. Tooooooo dense to get really basic ideas about raising children, but totally smart enough to graduate high scholl, vote, and drive on roads. [/quote]

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