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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is an interesting debate and while I don't have time to read every post I read many and got the general idea.  My children are now 21 and 18 but when my youngest was born we hired our first au pair.  We had 4 au pairs in 5 years and I also ended up serving as a community leader for the program we went through.  We had one au pair from Australia, one from Germany and two from France.  My French au pairs knew one another and the first one told the second one she needed to come and work with our family.  She stayed for two years and is now married to an American.  We loved all of our au pairs but they were also a lot more "work" than hiring a nanny.

My first au pair from Australia was very homesick and had never been away from her family before and even though she was 21 she was very immature.  We spent a LOT of time making her feel at home, trying to help her find friends, taking her on cool getaways including to Disney with my whole extended family (all paid for with no babysitting) etc.  My second au pair from France was amazing and the daughter of two doctors from Cannes.  We loved her and she was so much fun to have around.  Like our first au pair she was welcome to be with us whenever she wanted but she also went out a lot and used a car we provided.  Our German au pair was next and as others have said this is a big "rite of passage" for many girls there.  She was quiet and kind and she had a ton of friends in the area because Germans are the largest group who do the program.  Our last au pair was from Paris and she was a hoot.  She stayed for 2 years and went out many nights, which I was sometimes frustrated about but our younger daughter adored her.  She left when my daughter went to kindergarten but she has been in the area ever since and recently came over to celebrate my daughter's 18th birthday.

As the local au pair rep I saw it ALL.  There were wealthy families with 5 kids looking for a deal, single moms who worked nights and the au pair had the corner of a shared bedroom with the kids.  Many people were just like us - kind and friendly families who really did love the idea of cultural exchange and embraced the program.  In case people get the wrong idea, you don't just pay the $200/week and that's your obligation.  Families had to pay maybe $7K up front, it's likely more now, to be in the program and that covers the au pair visa, flights, one week in New York for training etc.  For us it was a big investment but it was worth it.

Not everyone has the same set up and the au pairs definitely compare notes.  Some have their own wing of the house and some barely had a room/bathroom.  We had a private bedroom and bathroom in our basement that our au pairs lived in and they loved it.  They always told me they were so lucky.  We are not super rich but well off enough and we never made them feel like they were just the nanny.  To this day I am in great contact with each of them and they have all come back and visited over the years and we plan to visit them too.

Despite all of that, I will say that the terrible families I saw when I was the community rep were really bad.  I remember one family who had a special needs child who was not supposed to be part of the program.  The very wealthy parents promised that he had his own car giver and then the au pair would tell me she was with him all day.  I stepped in and fixed it but in the end I counseled the girl to leave the family and she was much happier.

We never paid over the weekly amount unless we went over the hours and the au pair was interested in babysitting.  They always wanted extra hours and our girls were really sweet and I think easy so I suppose that's why we never had issues.  If my child were to do a similar program I would caution then to make sure they found a good family who were looking to this for the right reasons.  There are a lot of bad people out there but the good ones (and many are good) are doing this for the right reasons.

Good luck OP![/quote]

You are rich based off the lifestyle you describe.[/quote]

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