Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dramatic much? I have been having an affair for seven years with a guy who is open about the fact his marriage is pretty good, other than the infrequent, low passion sex. He never even said he doesn't get sex from his wife.  Neither of us want to leave our spouses in general, and we do not want to be married to each other. We both find the sex and friendship worthwhile and gives us somethings we don't get in our marriages. We have five kids between us. I don't see how it would be better to be transparent and blow up two families than to continue seeing each other. We haven't seen each other since early March, so it's not like we can't live without each other.[/quote]Don't bother.  I've tried explaining the obvious for more than 30 pages.  These women like to play dumb and live in denial bout how real life works.[/quote]

Actually it’s you who lives in denial about what you’re doing to your wife is wrong.  Yiu have said that it’s a 10 year horizon for you to consider divorcing your wife.  That’s just wrong and selfish of you to keep her in dark about your plans.   No need to put up with sexlessness, just divorce your wife so that she can find her future the way you are already planning your future while you keep her in the dark.  [/quote]Thanks, but I think  I'll run things my way.  You can have sympathy for her if you like but she's fine.  I don't remember what i said about ten years but I'm pretty sure I never said I have a ten year plan for divorcing her.  If she doesn't come around and wants to continue denying me sex or even talking about it, I'm sure we won't last ten years.  I did say it's day to day and it is.  For today, I'm managing alright, not that you care.  I know you have nothing but scorn for me.  But I feel alive again and I like looking forward to the next time I can see my AP.  Meanwhile, I'm nothing but kind to my wife where before, I didn't feel like she deserved any kindness when she didn't care how I felt at all.  Now, it doesn't matter and I don't resent her one bit.  She enjoys being sexless and I'm done fighting a hopeless battle I can't win.[/quote]

The fact that you saw your AP on mother's day and the fact that you can't wait to see your AP again means this isn't emotionless.  You're taking away time from your family, not just your wife, to be with your AP.  Whether you believe it or not, you're on your way to mentally divorcing from you wife.  Do her a favor and let her move on now.  At least show her some respect for the time you spent together and that you have kids.  I mean you are pretty disgusting for the way you treat your wife.  Also, I'm sorry for your sons because their role model for how a woman should be treated and what is the right thing to do comes from you.  Just feel bad for your sons and that you are their role model and not setting them up well for relationships with women (your attitude is pretty dismissive and uncaring for women).  Maybe you don't care how women are treated and their plight doesn't make a difference to you (otherwise you would have told your wife about cheating/exploring divorce)--It certainly seems that way and so you sound misogynistic. [/quote]Oh my God, think of the children!  Once again, I never said anything about having a son or a daughter.  Why is it you can't have this discussion without dragging children into it?  If I had a puppy, would I be neglecting him also?[/quote]

So if you're not thinking of children and you don't have respect for your wife, why do you stay in the marriage?  Is it financial reason?  Also, you ignored the fact that you were planning to spend a part of Mother's Day with your AP.  This is just sick.  You are already leaving your wife emotionally so why not make it official?  See----I'm not asking you to go without sex, just go without lying/cheating.  BTW, you should think about the children.  The way you treat women is the model for your kids/sons.  As I mentioned earlier, if you have sons and you don't care about how sons treat their wives, that's just misogyny.  You'll be leaving your wife sooner or later and so at least let her know your plans.  Maybe she decides to stay in this marriage for kids as well.  Give her respect by giving her choice.  You are treating her poorly.  Do you care at all about your wife and so whether you treat her poorly?  [/quote]Once again, I'm not going into detail about my marriage or my reasons for staying.  It's enough for you to know that I am and it's best for everyone.  I'm not ignoring the fact that I got away with my AP on Mother's day.  What about it?  The way I treat women is no model for any child who has no business concerning themselves with adult sexual situations any more than I would involve them in knowing such things.  TBC[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics