Reply to How to respond when kid gets into school and is Legacy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, the legacies I know who were rejected were more than qualified. One example: friends who are double legacy at Harvard, all three kids are at Yale instead because they didn't get into Harvard. All the legacies I know rejected from their parents school ended up at an equally elite school - so yes, those kids were qualified for the legacy school. I just don't think it's as easy as  as "oh, she got in because of legacy, or she didn't get in because they didn't donate."

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Legacy doesn't mean a guaranteed admit. Legacy does mean that the applicant is hooked, which is another way of saying the applicant is considered more favorably than those who lack a hook. Once you have the general stats for admission, would you rather be considered in the massive pile of applications where it is essentially a lottery OR would you rather be considered with a smaller pile of ones that are getting more time, a second look, more reasons for someone to champion your acceptance, etc? [/quote]

The smaller pile, of course. I guess my point is that even in that smaller pile, it's competitive and not an easy admit. Lots of qualified legacies who are rejected and later end up at other HYPS. [/quote]

Yes, enjoy arguing with yourself as no one is saying it’s easy to get into an elite university.  They’re just saying it’s easier to get into an elite university as a legacy, which is not the same thing as it being easy [/quote]

Sure legacies have an advantage in admissions - so in your mind that justifies other kids being rude about it? That’s an odd conclusion to reach [/quote]

These kids were rude but in the scheme of things that kids that age can be rude about, my goodness.  Are egos that fragile?  Please recall that these kids are dealing with their own disappointment.  Teach your children to be gracious about their victories.[/quote]
The “rudeness” was pointing out that OP’s DC was a legacy meaning that they had odds in the 1 out of 3 or 4 range while the rejected kids faced 1 out of 100 odds. . . [/quote]

You need to take an intro stats class. And also an etiquette class. Because bringing something like this up is rude. Full stop.

The fact that so many people are OK with the fact that the rejected kids mentioned it is horrifying. They might be right - one can make a very good argument for that. But to mention it is really low class. I don't see why this is even debatable.[/quote]

Not PP obviously but most of us have acknowledged the rudeness.  Some posters feel that because the kids were rude, nothing else matters.  I do not agree — but that’s not the same thing as defending the rudeness itself.[/quote]

From OP’s description the rudeness was stating a fact, one for my own kid I would hope they wouldn’t vocalize, but the truth nonetheless and I am willing to give grace to both OP’s kid and the rejected one who no doubt said it out of disappointment. Further, if OP’s kid can’t handle it they aren’t well prepared to attend the college they just got into as their legacy status will be known and commented on there as well[/quote]

Clearly you haven't gone to a competitive school. People have better things to talk about than legacy status. Once you are there you have bigger things to worry about than how people got in. The only reason it might come up is if someone is truly well below everyone else academically, to the point of being an outlier. Then people might say "how did they get in here?" But if someone is just minding their own business and not consistently making dumb comments, no one will care.[/quote]

I went to HYPSM. I knew several legacies. Most were quite smart. They couple that were not were from very wealthy families with a long long line of legacies. Like generations at this school. I still didn't say anything about how they got in there because that would be very rude. I thought it, but kept that thought to myself. Which is exactly what the classmate here should have done. [/quote]
Kudos for not knowing the distinction between high school seniors in application time and the totally different context of classmates once you are at college.[/quote]

That comment added zero value. [b]You are [/b]as [b]dumb[/b] as the kids who made the low class comments about the other kid being a legacy. [b]No wonder you didn't go to a good school. The village is calling. Its idiot is missing.[/quote]

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Glad you can point out when others are dumb or low class.

NP[/quote]

Many of the low class fools in this thread are saying that it is OK to say what we are thinking, even if it is rude. So I am trying that on for size. I didn't particularly like it. I will now return to being kind and respectful. Fool.[/quote]

For myself, I am simply understanding that these are 17 year old kids, dealing with huge stress and disappointment.  Nothing in OP's post suggests the comment "oh but your parents went there" was intentionally malicious or followed by any statements claiming that the applicant wasn't smart and deserving.   It sounds like OP's kid was excitedly reporting his ED success to kids who had not been as lucky as he was.   Give these kids a break on both sides.  . .   [/quote]

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