Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a reason for why one spouse chose not to work or works from home/at a flexible part time job? Or is this an acceptable turn of phrase? [/quote]

It's an absolutely valid statement. Many of my friends didn't want their children to be raised by strangers, some had the privilege to do it themselves or get family to support while others had to send them to daycare or leave them with nannies.[/quote]

+1.  I had kids to actually be a mom. I wanted the experience and contracted out parenting as little as possible (although had to do some), whereas I know moms who want to work and were less interested in the day to day of parenting.  What is wrong with acknowledging that?  [/quote]

Yeah, this is exactly the kind of defensiveness that people display when using that phrase. SAHMs without a chip on their shoulder don’t sound like this. SAHMs who are confident in their choice don’t disdainfully say that in order to “actually be a mom” a woman has to be solely responsible for daytime childcare.

PP, once your kids are in elementary school, are they suddenly going to be “raised” by elementary school teachers? or does your contempt expire the minute the situation become applicable for you personally?[/quote]

How long are your kids in school for? Mine are in (elementary) school 6 hours a day, from 9-3. They wake up at 7 and go to bed between 8-9. So roughly 7-8 hours every weekday that they’re not in school vs 6 hrs that they are in school. I’d say it’s a pretty even split between time spent w elementary teachers and parents but parents still coming out on top in terms of hrs spent with kids. We only live 2 blocks from school so I walk w my kids to/from school so I literally am w them all 7-8 hrs of the day that they’re not in school. Not saying this is as a judgment on working parents but yes, as a SAHM I am with my kids more hrs a day that their teachers are. 
[/quote]

Most kids are at school for about 7h a day but you're tripping if you think the ratio of time spent is important. Some days yours will be in school for longer if they have sports. Some kids with sahms spend hours at friends houses on certain days. Equating time spent with a person to 'raising' them and claiming that someone who gets home at 5 is not 'raising' their kids is absolutely ridiculous and laughable. And obviously just a weird flex to make someone feel falsely superior. [/quote]

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