Reply to Why is redshirting so rare if it's so advantageous?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s gotta just be the one person on here, right? The one who talks about the shame of being the oldest and… succeeding? The one who talks about following some “rules”?

There are no hard and fast rules on this and I don’t know anyone who thinks about their age vis a vis their school performance! I hope your child doesn’t. I really also hope you don’t tell your child, when they do poorly, oh it’s just because Johnny messed up the curve because he’s so much older than you.

There must be someone, some family, in your life, anti-redshirting lady, who really annoys you. Who is smug about their kid’s success, even though you feel it’s unearned because the kid is older than yours. I’m sorry if the mom of the older kid is smug- that’s on her. You’re right to be irritated by that. But you’re wrong to kneecap your own kid by telling them it isn’t fair when s/he does poorly. And I can kind of tell you do that… Sigh. You have a good kid! It all comes out in the wash! Take a deep breath. Your kid is amazing and good and just celebrate them without twisting yourself into knots about his “competitors “- think of them as “friends “ who happen to do well. [/quote]

Didn’t you read Malcom Gladwells book outiers? It’s proven that the oldest kids in a group are likely to be higher achievers. Most Oxford university students are born in Autumn ( no redshirting allowed in the UK). Most elite youth hockey players in Canada where born in the first 3 months of the year, cut off is the new calendar year. Redshirting increases that gap.

[b]It’s very rich of parents who redshirted their kids so benefited from the system to gaslight the rest of us who where hurt from being unfairly compared to artificially created older classmates that we are overreacting to the barriers that you erected. [/b] [/quote]

Were you hurt by this? Was your child? Those are two different things, realize. And as the parent, you have the ability, the obligation actually, to help your kid navigate the unfairness of life. And ok, you think this is unfair. Ok. Nothing I will say will convince you otherwise. But - now what? Life is unfair in so very many ways. Are you mad at children of wealthy families? Neurotypical kids? White kids? Boys? Girls? Kids who love stem?

Please, PP, just lay this down. Your kid deserves a mom who is proud of them - wherever they are and whatever success they’ve achieved.   Every redshirting parent has a thing that their kid has that they worry about-  all of us do! Just love on your kid, PP - and give yourself a break. You didn’t fail your kid for not redshirting. I swear no one else is thinking about this as much as you. [/quote]

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