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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To my first-grade DD, from a school parent. "Larla can't believe your mommy is here! She thought you were pretending to have a mommy!"
Doors slammed in my face when I was carrying younger DD in her car seat during drop-offs.
"I can't believe your husband makes you work!"
"Mrs. Jones assigned XYZ books. This is so much more than Mrs. Smith's class. Is DD behind in reading because you're never home?"
"Do they MAKE you wear heels, or are you just trying to show us up? ahahahahaha"
"You'll never get these years with them back."
"I know you have to work to send DD to (inexpensive parochial school), but (less-desirable neighborhood school) has gotten A LOT better. Is it really worth it?"

All from SAHMs at inexpensive parochial school. Shall I go on?  [/quote]

I'm sorry, PP. I've been on the receiving end of mean comments too as a WOHM in a school with a lot of SAHMs, including one who essentially told me that my DC's (inherited) dyslexia was my fault because I worked. DH is dyslexic, as was DH's father.

BUT.

SAHMs also receive mean comments. There is just a subgroup of women who are mean to other women and they'll use whatever they can, whether it's SAH, WOH, whatever. I decided early on that I had two choices: I could avoid trying to befriend all the moms, or I could assume that the ones who made comments had their own issues, and try to befriend everyone else. I chose the latter. Years later, those SAHMs I befriended are some of my closest, most wonderful friends. I would have missed out entirely if I'd let a few comments from a few insecure women keep me away from all the rest. I think the world of them and honestly, I think they'd cut somebody if they heard me criticized for working, as I would if I heard them criticized for SAH.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but try not to assume everybody is like this. They're not. And, perhaps open yourself up to the idea that people who say something mean are doing it out of ignorance or personal issues rather than spite. There was one woman who said something pretty mean to me very early on. Years later, we became friends, and I learned that she'd been going through a really rough time personally during that period. She has no memory -- I am sure -- of what she said, and I know she'd be horrified if I told her now. People go through really hard times and sometimes don't handle it in the most perfect of ways. I am not perfect and I don't expect my friends to be perfect.

Hang in there. It will be better when your kids are older, even if you don't end up making friends out of it. When the kids are older, all this certainty about how one way of raising kids is better than another falls away in the face of glaring evidence that the kids are who they are. [/quote]

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