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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The posters suggesting to not not barely celebrate Christmas or birthdays aren’t very helpful.

You’re also not taking the rest of life into consideration. I can live in a $2 million dollar house, employ a cleaning lady, work a demanding job, exercise etc - but I’m going to drop the ball on Christmas and/or a birthday for my mental health?

Someone who is not celebrating Christmas for their child (assuming you’re Christian) is practically homeless or suffering from severe mental illness. [/quote]

This post sounds like mental illness. What on earth? [/quote]

+1! Figure out what "celebrating Christmas" means to you. If it means spending 10,000 hours decorating and buying gifts, and you don't have 10,000 hours to spend, you'll either need to take time from other things, outsource, or not spend 10,000 hours on Christmas. This isn't rocket science. My parents had demanding jobs and we had no other family, so they spend 2 hours decorating and gave my sibling and I one gift each, but that still counted as Christmas because we were celebrating together. [/quote]

My parents were immigrants who worked themselves to the bone. We'd haul down the plastic Christmas tree from the attic, my brother and I would wrap the lights and tinsel, hang the few ornaments while my dad ran to the toy store to get a He-Man action figure for my brother and a My Little Pony for me. My mom would wrap them and stick them under the tree, and call it a day. Good times, and great memories.[/quote]

Sounds to me like both of your parents participated.  
I think OP is resentful because she has to do everything alone.  [/quote]

Would OP be satisfied if all her DH did was a last minute Target run for action figures? [/quote]

I think she would be satisfied if he volunteered to go and he knew what he wanted to get.

She said that she is upset that he didn’t volunteer to do anything.  [/quote]

We have no idea what happened behind the scenes with PP’s parents. We have no idea if her mother told him to go to Target and what to buy. [/quote]

Action figure PP here. My dad definitely knew what to buy, because he would take the few minutes to notice us and the toys with which we played. That's why I have good memories. Christmas was that time they could take a break and show us that they did know who we were, even though they were normally away so much working. It didn't take a huge amount of time or money.[/quote]

No offense, PP, but you probably have no idea about the Christmas conversations and delegating that may or may not have occurred between your parents.  The point IMO is that they made it work in order to give you a good childhood and happy memories.  Who CARES if Mom was the “project manager” or Dad was, or if they both magically manage to do exactly the right 50% with no reminders or delegating whatsoever?[/quote]

What a strange response.[b] You don’t think that as a kid I’d know if my dad knows what toys I play with? [/b]Kids aren’t dumb. Of course I wouldn’t  have known all the conversations and delegations, but I would certainly notice if all the work is primarily done by one parent and the second has no clue what is going on. And I would definitely notice if the parent doing all the work resented the situation. That sort of thing is extremely obvious to kids because parents usually do a poor job of hiding it.[/quote]

No one said that, dummy.  I’m saying as a kid you wouldn’t know if your mom had to say to your dad, every single year, hey go to the store and get the kids some Christmas presents.

OP isn’t talking about doing all the work.  She’s talking about the “mental load” of delegating half the work to her husband.  And no, kids wouldn’t notice that.

Your response isn’t strange, it’s painfully stupid.  Or just disingenuous.[/quote]

Kids don’t remember anything much.

They’ll have to grow up and set their own boundaries, after they realize[b] one of their so called parents is utterly unreliable and ego centric. Hopefully by then they’ll grow out of lapping up the sparse attention they occasionally get from the neglectful selfish parent too. [/b][/quote]

Now THIS is a strange response![/quote]

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