Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wonder if I "had" to work or "chose" to work. We could have made it on DH's income but he does not want me to stay home because he wants an UMC lifestyle instead of a MC one, which I would have been fine with.[/quote]

It doesn’t sound like you had a choice.  I would have told him to make more money if he wanted a certain lifestyle.  If a mother really feels it’s important to be at home for her children then a middle class lifestyle would be fine.  Probably better than fine because there would be more like minded mothers to meet and less materialistic people around you. [/quote]

Yes, a woman’s place is in the home. If he wants more money it’s his job as a leader of the home and provider to go get it. I don’t understand why you stood for this and let him bully you into a job. [/quote]

I get you’re being sarcastic but the reality is more women than men would prefer to stay home and women have babies. You can claim that it shouldn’t be this way, but the vast majority of women are uninterested in a man who can’t provide for them. It’s biology.

Guarantee you that the PP had a terrible sex life and is or was unhappy. There’s nothing that kills a sex life for a woman like a man who can’t provide and allow a woman to stay home to watch her own kids. [/quote]

So why should women go to college or grad school? If a 15 year old girl who wanted to be a lawyer and also have a family came to you for advice, would you tell her what you really believe, that women should be at home with their kids and be provided for by their husbands? [/quote]

Because there’s no guarantee in life that you’re going to get married and have kids. I knew this when I was 21. I was at a top university, and pursued a career where I could make decent money and support myself. I fully wanted and intended to get married and have kids, but not pursuing an education would have been putting the cart before the horse.

Additionally, I did not have kids until I was 29. I worked for 8 years out of college. I actually still work at 35, but if we could afford our lifestyle on DH’s income alone, I would probably choose to be home with my kids, focusing on parenting well instead of feeling like I’m constantly dropping the ball either with my family, work, or taking care of the house.

I hate the argument of “why should women bother getting an education at all?” if they choose to stay home with their kids. The answer is because they should have the same opportunities as men. And you can’t possibly know at 18 if and when you’re going to have children. [/quote]

The prevalence of tradwives sets back equality. Why? Because people are influenced. A woman who decides to give up her career is not operating in a vacuum. Her choices are hers of course (cue the “I made the best decision for my family” tradwives—yes, I’m  talking about systems, not your initial choice which no one cares about) but they influence society. And the more women opt out of the workforce (which Christian nationalists want to see happen) the harder it becomes for ambitious working women to thrive. [/quote]

Labeling sahms “trad wives” is judgmental. The reality is that a lot of parents - mostly women - want to be home with their kids instead of balancing both a career and kids. You can call it whatever you want, but the reality is that a) women have a somewhat limited range of years to have kids b) raising kids is a full time job whether your outsource it or not c) most men aren’t doing 50% of the child rearing, mental load or house management even if their wives DO work and d) there are plenty of jobs for ambitious women.

Women shouldn’t be forced to burn the candle on both ends so women who WANT to work have more women in the workplace for “ambitious” people like you. I say this as a full time working mother and a democrat who despises Trump.

And by the way, it’s insane that people like you eschew having a parent at home present to raise their children like they’re some waste of time. Like what are you even preaching? The comeback to “why bother getting an education?” comment from people like you should be “why do YOU bother having kids if they’re not worthy of your time?”[/quote]

Who said anything about “forcing” women? I was talking about system-level changes and the way they affect women’s rights. I was going to reply to your comment but someone with your level of critical thinking isn’t worth it. [/quote]

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