Reply to YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What would be better for the child, should the adoptive parents keep his name Huxley or offer him a new name to protect his privacy / identity? He is all over the internet, people where he lives now will see an Asian nonverbal child with the name Huxley and know immediately who he is... I know he is not a dog to be named whatever but I do wonder what is in his long term interest. Anyone have ideas about that? [/quote]

The name is the least of the issues.  Most families who adopt change their kids names.  I only know of a few families who either kept the first/middle name given or did a joint name with the birth parents if that was an option, which is what we did.[/quote]

He was a beautiful Chinese name. I don't recall it, but why now use that name?[/quote]

Why not?  It reflects his culture, heritage and if his birth mom gave it to him, its the only thing left he has.  My child has a name from their culture.  Why wouldn't you?[/quote]

We're saying the same thing I just have too many typos. Yes, use his given Chinese name, not Huxley. [/quote]

Because he’ll be growing up American with little to no ongoing connection to China. Why burden him with a name from a culture with a language that he doesn’t speak, and that he may not be able to even pronounce correctly?[/quote]

Maybe he will not think its a burden.  My child has a name reflective of his culture but growing up in the US.  Its not a burden.  Its something special birth mom choose and something no one can take away.[/quote]

Who knows even if his birth mom chose a name for him.  I (also an Asian adoptee) wasn't named by my birth mom but rather by the adoption agency.[/quote]

Very true.  But, the name is not a burden.[/quote]

[b]That’s really not for you to say.[/b][/quote]

Nor is it for you to say.  I am a parent of a child with a culture from another country.  The choices we make greatly impact that child.  How that child views themself and that country is greatly impacted by our choices and believes.  And, in our child's case, the name is one thing no one can take away.  Our child considers their name very special as we made sure of that.[/quote]

PP Asian adoptee here. Just to be clear, I did not write the bolded; someone else did.

It sounds like you're doing a great job, PP adoptive parent.  Every child's case is different and there are absolutely many times a birth family has named the child already.  In my case, and in my own kid's case (I also adopted from the same country I was adopted from), our birth family didn't name us. My birth last name is the same as my child's birth mom's, so DC has that as their middle name- a connection to both their moms.  But I also know other adoptees who came from abusive birth family situations and wanted no part of carrying a name that had caused such pain to them.  In that case, the name was a definite burden.

In any event, each child is different and let's hope their adoptive families are up to the task of meeting their emotional needs.[/quote]

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