Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is always the parents fault and I am not being sarcastic.[/quote]

You choose to have children, you choose ALL the consequences, good and bad. If I’ve learned anything in 51 years I’ve learned that a great many people have zero positive parenting skills without learning them in a structured way, and many people are willing to learn to diaper, feed, clean etc. properly but it never occurs to them to learn anything about the care and feeding of a developing human brain - the part of your child that matters SO MUCH MORE than feeding and cleaning the body that houses their brain. If fact, most people are so full of opinions about correct parenting they are not even open to the suggestions of medical professionals or psychological professionals about those issues, and are instead determined to pass on the intergenerational dysfunction of their own experiences being parented.

Most parents hurt their children in some fashion while raising them, and many parents hurt them profoundly. Most likely the majority of those parents mean well, and have spent oodles of money getting the baby in the first place and acquiring all the physical stuff necessary to give baby a good start. With all the industry around children and childrearing it’s almost funny that we still behave as a society as though the parenting instinct is innate and all that’s really required to succeed in the endeavor. And yet all around us is the evidence of widespread failure yet we plod on as we have always done without any organized effort to rescue children. We go after the obvious cases of physical neglect and abuse and leave aside the millions of cases of psychologically traumatizing parenting.

I almost believe that the core flaw in our species is that our brains have gotten too big, too complex and our innate parenting skills remain limited to those which in most cases ensure the survival of the offspring without promoting the psychological thriving of the offspring. We have so far to go in that regard.[/quote]

How many kids have you raised? I'm betting zero. You are an armchair quarterback.[/quote]

It’s funny and sad that you say stuff like this.  I bet you even think you’ve made this “gotcha,” when all you’ve done is shown us how emotionally immature you are.[/quote]

NP. I am curious about the answer to the question, though. It’s a reasonable question even if phrased in a dumb way. [/quote]

Did you read the post the question was directed at?[/quote]

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