Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am asian.  Reading this post makes very sad.  This cultural is certainly not very kind to old people.  When you guys talk about diversity and inclusion,  you only mean lgbt and minority.  You don’t extent the same curtesy to old generation, and what they once believed.   You don’t stop to think twice that was actually your own history.   When you talk about love you the way you are,  you don’t really think you should love your parent the way they are.  Isn’t it kind of hypocritical?  [/quote]

I think you need to read the whole post. And no, I do not think it is hypocritical for children to have different standards for parents than vice versa. They are not symmetrical relationships. FWIW I know several Asian people who cut off their parents. [/quote]

DP. This must be the company you keep. I live in a community with a very large Asian population and I know literally no families with cut off parents. [/quote]

Maybe they just aren't talking about it! I read a memoir "What My Bones Know" by a young Asian woman. Her abusive parents took off when she was in high school, and she tried to have a relationship with her dad, but in the end she was estranged from both, not necessarily by her choice. She spends some time in the book exploring how Asian immigrant parents pass down their generational trauma.[/quote]

So the person you "know" is the author of a book?[/quote]

I posted about book but am DP from the other PP. I do not know the author, but she is a reputable professional who grew up in a majority Asian community in CA,  and she talks about her own family as well as families she knew well, and the outcomes for the children who were her peers. So I learned something about people from another place/culture from me, but also, are you shitting me. Are you requiring me or other anonymous Pps to prove there's an estranged Asian person out there, and Iwe know them personally??? Ha!!

Listen, almost no one in my life knows that I have no relationship with my mother. I bet you know a handful of people like me, any race, and they just would never speak about it with you.[/quote]

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