Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]nah, no one needs crummy grandparents.  you guys are trolls. just clean up your act and be decent to your adult children are.[/quote]

they’re terrified because they are realizing that the consequences of being shitty parents is that they won’t have access to their grandkids.

My son has met my dad. But I’m amused to be hectored about how I have some kind of duty to preserve family bonds with someone who disinherited me.

[/quote]

Exactly this.  My own parents are making a minimal effort to have a relationship and be conciliatory after we told them that no, they don’t get to visit this summer and see us or their grandkids.  I won’t have my children subjected to bigotry, intolerance, or toxicity.

We aren’t even on speaking terms and they sent a GD email telling us when they would be visiting and that they’d stay at a hotel near our home and will come to our house and visit daily.  Like, no, this isn’t how this works.  What kind of narcissistic person thinks they can go from not speaking to their children for months and every time they did talk it was horrible to we are deciding we are visiting?  Like it’s some right of an American grandparent to see their grandchildren?  [/quote]

You are looking fairly intolerant yourself. BTW your kids still want to see their grandparents and when they grow up, they will ask why you didn't let them see the grands. You are using your kids as pawn in your political battle.[/quote]

You're wrong.  It's bigotry when someone says that every LGBTQ person has a mental illness or that it's a choice because it's a 'sin' and god wouldn't make them that way.  It's bigotry when they want to teach my children that white people should not be in relationships with black people.  It's bigotry when they think that anyone not in the same religion as them is going to hell forever and ever.  It's bigotry when they say that gay people shouldn't receive treatment for HIV.  None of those beliefs are my beliefs and I will not subject my children to bigoted people just because they're the grandparents.  They have no right to see my kids nor do they have any god given right to continue spreading bigotry down to later generations just because they were taught that way and choose not to re-evaluate their beliefs.[/quote]

Right. And a grandparent who sincerely wanted to maintain ties with the grandkids would agree to just not discuss those issues, even if their beliefs did not change. A grandparent who thought exerting control and superiority would put that above the relationship, with predictable consequences. 
[/quote]

Again, you're wrong.  They are narcissistic.  They believe their beliefs are right.  They believe it's a [b]FACT [/b]that interracial marriage is wrong and that this should be taught to my kids.  When you think you're speaking the word of god and you are convinced you are right about things, there is nothing that anyone can do to convince you otherwise.  Even if they did promise to not discuss certain things, I know for a fact that they'd try to give my children bible lessons on interracial marriage and LGBT people anyway. [/quote]

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