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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kate is so unlikeable.  She doesn’t like that Toby is happy and healthy.  She didn’t address his point that they need more money to help meet Jack’s needs. [/quote]

I have to admit that I can't side with Kate even though I kind of identify with her a little bit and frankly hit a mental health wall and pulled back from a cross-country move with my spouse.

My job circumstances are different, kids are much older and that was a part of it, etc., so I feel guilty about feeling that Kate is unreasonable.

But this is a TV show and not real life so while I think Toby was heavy handed and wrong not to talk about the LA offer to her, I also think Toby is right. Kate has a part time job as a music teacher. She has no degree or certification. Are they planning to live forever in the same house that they are in right now so Jack never has to adapt? Better than he move and adapt now.

Team Toby.[/quote]

If the difference in LA salary is made up by Kate’s job , the moving to SF is wrong. Toby never said what the difference was. But it unreasonable for Kate to assume he would be in SF and she in LA forever. She should have been looking to move as soon as she realized his job was working out.

I wonder if Kate gets her act together and at Rebecca’s bedside she shows up skinny. Probably not.[/quote]

It sounds like the LA offer came long after he took the SF job. [/quote]

Yes, that's what he said. He's clearly thriving there and she should be happy for him and supportive. He's absolutely right that they need resources for Jack's care. She could get a degree in her new field and work with the blind in SF. https://viprogram.sfsu.edu  Her only good argument is wanting to be there for Rebecca, b[b]ut it's an easy trip and she could see her often[/b]. It's sweet Toby was thinking about a guest house for them.[/quote]

DP. The devil is in the details, though. Yeah, he was depressed and now is better as he's improved his life, but that isn't a pass on behaviors like in last night's episode. He still never answered Kate about a dollar figure. That felt very wrong to me; what married couple doesn't talk in concrete dollar amounts? But he won't [i]allow[/i] a discussion of dollars, which any real couple would at least have even if in the end it didn't change things. That felt manipulative on his part. And so did his ultimatum at the end because that's what he did -- gave Kate a flat out ultimatum: The only way to be a family is in SF. Not LA, not anywhere else. Neither wants to compromise, I get that, but Toby's behavior re: the LA job offer, the refusal to discuss money seriously, and the ultimatum were very selfish, to me. Kate could be more supportive, but his whole demeanor last night was "I'm the one making the decisions." The clincher was how he apologized, the next morning, for not telling her about the job offer -- and after that small apology,  he immediately wallops her with the "SF or nothing" ultimatum. Wow.

IRL, SF to LA is not an "easy trip" if you're juggling two young children and your husband is super busy with his job. It's more than six hours by car, not counting any traffic issues. While only 90 minutes by plane, that's not including navigating to and from two major airports and city traffic, which in those cities (especially LA) can add a lot more time. And those "easy" plane trips would add up and suck away $$. Not at all realistic to pop back and forth with young kids and if you're trying to save money for assistive technology and special schooling.[/quote]

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