Reply to SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To PP: with a super handy surgeon husband who makes probably $1mm/year you indeed have no worries. Just make sure you invest and don’t spend all the money. Alimony is peanuts - one last I know got $100k alimony for a year, while her exH made several million/year. She was 50 yo and it was in DC [/quote]

I don’t believe this unless they were married fir a year or something. A 50 year old who’s been married fir a couple decades divorcing a multimillionaire would be fine financially.
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DP here. You'd be surprised at the number of people with 7-figure incomes who don't save much. I'm guessing that might be the situation the PP is describing. High income, low savings, not a lot of assets to divvy up in the divorce.[/quote]

Exactly: the couple where exH made millions was spending on travel, timeshares, entertainment, luxury cars, art and expensive social clubs. They only have one marital home to split. The exH retained his income, and the 50yo exW went to work at $120k/year living in new home with huge mortgage. [/quote]

But alimony is based on income. Why would a court not require a more equitable split in alimony, unless there was a prenup or they'd only been married for a short time. This just doesn't make sense.[/quote]

Generally the judge expects everyone to work. There is no expectation that the exH should be maintaining exW lifestyle. Alimony is given to cover reasonable expenses, and it's temporary. Unless the divorce happens shortly pre-retirement. 
She did get the alimony of $100K for 1 year in that case, and went to work[/quote]

Alimony of 100K for 1 year coming out of a long term marriage to someone making seven figures is very strange. Your friend got screwed by bad lawyering, or is lying to you, or you are lying. But it is unusual and not really pertinent to this conversation.[/quote]

I spoke to several DC family lawyers when I was divorcing myself - alimony for over 2 years is extremely rare and is given to retirees, when no individual earning capacity. When there are over 15 years to retirement it’s 1-2 years at a max. All top north family attorneys. You would need to provide case law here to prove otherwise. I think you are misled by celebrities divorces numbers - they often have prenups that specify alimony or future royalties that a spouse would be otherwise eligible for and traded for alimony.
I know cases of life long alimony but all involved 60+ age group and alimony itself wasn’t spectacular for “regular” people. In Colorado a surgeon exW was made to pay $7k/month for life  to her stay at home exH. Both in 60s, and she’s making close to $1mm/year so not a big “bite” for her at all. ExH moved into a 1Br apartment as he can’t make much being a former professor [/quote]

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