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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the PP you quoted. I haven't previously been bashing IVF and I don't have any weird ideas that women who can't get pregnant shouldn't because of evolution. I agree with you that adoption comes with its own issues and that it is not for everyone. What about people who buy a donor egg, donor sperm, and hire a surrogate? At that point, wouldn't it be better to just adopt a kid? [/quote]

I haven't been contributing to this conversation, but re: what you said about donor egg/sperm/uterus, yes, at that point, I think ART is going too far. At that point, it becomes manufacturing a specific child - why did you choose THOSE eggs and sperm? To get a baby that looked a particular way? (Obvious rhetorical question)[/quote]

You chose your spouse because, presumably, he or she looked a certan way and had certain characteristics.

But more importantly, it's obvsious you're totally ignorant about how IVF / ART works (not surprising, since most of the anti IVF people seem ignorant on many levels).  Most people choose sperm and/or eggs that most closely resemble THEM so that they won't have to face the contant judgment from people like you when their child looks totally different than either their mom and/or dad.  [/quote]

I'm actually not totally ignorant of how it works, and am perfectly aware that people choose characteristics that look like them/that they find desirable. I'm not suggesting that there's anything wrong with that. I also think it's totally fine if you need a little bit of help from science at some point during the process, in the same way I think it's totally fine if you need a little help from science to give birth to a baby or feed a baby or whatever else. The part where I become judgy is when you need a lot of help from science with the whole process. If you're not using your or your partner's eggs, your or your partner's sperm or your or your partner's body to grow the child in question, why not just adopt? I'm happy for anyone who gets to raise a child they want, but I would imagine the "but sometimes ART is much cheaper than adoption" argument falls a bit flat when you're talking about donor eggs/sperm/uterus.

I'm genuinely curious why you think that it's a good idea to use donor sperm AND eggs AND a surrogate.[/quote]

How many people do donor eggs and donor sperm and use a surrogate? I don't know of a single example.[/quote]

We used donor egg because I had a very poor response to meds (I was only 31 at the time) and literally didn't get a single egg through retrieval.  We used donor sperm (and knew we would have to) because DH has very poor sperm count / quality due to an accident.  We did not use a surrogate.  We paid for the entire process ourselves and it came to $32k as part of a shared donor egg program.  We looked at adoption but it was more expensive and we were told there was a minimum wait time of two years.  I met many couples going through this process and not one of them was using a surrogate.  The only person I know who used a surrogate (a co worker) had a hysterectomy as a result of severe fibroids.  When people talk about IVF and ART so viciously and attack couples for using these methods it makes me think they are painfully ignorant of what real people encounter through these processes and how difficult it is.  And adoption isn't the easy solution that many on this forum make it out to be, either. When you are in my shoes, then you can judge.[/quote]

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