Reply to Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas headed to divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Accordint to past social media, the Jonas Brothers started rtour rehearsals in the USA for the tour at the end of June / beginning of July so it seems Joe likely brought the kids with him then - which aligns with his having the kids for 3 months statement. The tour started August 12 but lots of social media posts in July about the rehearsals.[/quote]

According to Sophie's filing, Joe was in England until July 31st, when he left with the kids for his tour. It's possible he went to those rehearsals in June/July, but unless Sophie is flat out lying in her filing (very unlikely), he must have just come out for a few days here and there. Even if he brought the kids with him on some or all of those trips (unlikely given their ages), that's not the same as the kids being in his primary custody away from Sophie for 3 months. Even if she was working, if he was in England with the kids, they would be in their joint custody during that time.

And here is where I note that it's stuff like this that makes me pro-Sophie in this matter because Joe is trying to make it sound like, because Sophie was working for a few months and he spent a month or two as the primary parent during the most intense part of her shoot, he has somehow become the primary parent forever and Sophie has abdicated her responsibilities towards the kids.

This is a woman who literally did not work for 3 years while having these kids, despite working in an industry where giving up 3 years of your late 20s to stay home is worth a LOT of money, and having a career where ordinarily she would have been seeking to capitalize on her GoT exposure more aggressively. The fact that he seems to be using the only job she has take since getting pregnant with their eldest as evidence that she's just not that into being a mom anymore, while he is constantly touring with two different bands, is the sort of think that makes me really angry. That's why you see so many women talking about this case with some passion. The timing of the divorce and the way Joe seems to be treating a woman who gave up an incredibly successful and lucrative career to stay home with babies for three years, is very... triggering.[/quote]

According to her Imdb page she has been working all along. Not on major movie roles but she has multiple mini series, a movie, a few TV projects etc. It doesn't seem she hasn't worked or had any jobs.

I think people view this and most situations through their own bias. You can decide that the man could only have bad intentions and be a non primary father and view everythign he says and does that that lens and the woman must of course be the nurturing doting primary parent who could only ever have good intentions. For myself, based on my life, I don't have that lens. My good and bad people / parents isn't split along the lines of men (bad) and woman (good). I have no idea what has really happened but I don't assume that since she is the woman and a mother she can do no wrong and since he is a man and father he must be at fault for everything and couldn't possibly have looked after his kids. [/quote]
DP. None of the things she has done required the time commitment she previously put into her prior roles that brought her to prominence. It could be a coincidence but does appear to be more of a choice. She also hasn’t played any pregnant women to my knowledge so almost certainly wasn’t doing anything at that time. [/quote]

She was pregnant and had two kids! Nothing wrong with some mat leave and taking smaller projects. I am sure a lot of wealthy people take some time off big projects while birthing children. She was still working some though. They seem to have had a nanny throughout despite her 'not working'. I don't see any evidence that this was some abusive plan of Joe forcing her to quit work and be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. [/quote]

No one is saying he was forcing her to stay pregnant and at home. But I wonder how much the move to the UK was intertwined with Sophie returning to taking larger roles. Even with a lot of money and resources, it is really hard to be a mother of two small children while living so far from your family and then also trying to work. Like I don't think it was a coincidence that she started moving her life much more towards the UK around the same time she took her first really significant role post-kids. I think those things were linked, like she realized that if she wants to really work (not jus little voice over gigs or small roles, but major roles like what she was doing before she got married), she'd need to be in a situation where she had a really strong support system around her and the kids, a strong home base she could always go back to.

And she wasn't getting that in the US. I don't know why, but they stayed in that LA house for really not that long. Then they buy the house in Miami, which definitely seems like a move incentives by taxes but also sounds like crap timing for a family that has one toddler and a baby on the way. And again, I would bet you anything through all of that, Sophie was just feeling kind of homesick, dealing with doctors visits and childbirth and all of it in Miami, where she doesn't even have a lot of friends? I'm sorry that sounds lonely as hell.

So the timing just really stinks because what it looks like is that Sophie was trying to find a way to make motherhood work for her by doing what a lot of women do -- moving closer to family, leaning into a support system, digging back into work but in a supported way that doesn't compromise your kids. And Joe couldn't get on board.[/quote]

Is making fatherhood work for him also important? They both became parents at the same time. They should have been focusing on making parenthood work for them. Her staying in the US means she is away from her family and support network and him going to the UK means he is away from his family and his support network. [/quote]

This won't go over well with some people, but when kids are under age 5, I think it is much more important to make sure the mom gets the support she needs, because she's generally doing a lot more heavy lifting in terms parenting. I know these are rich, famous people but I  doubt their dynamic is much different. Who hires the nannies? Who arranges play dates and enrolls them in activities? Who makes sure they are eating or deals with sleep regressions or finds a good pediatrician in whatever new city they are living in? Who figures out that one kid is afraid of the dark and needs a special night light or she won't be able to fall asleep without someone in the room, but the other one always needs to be give 10 and 5 mint warnings before literally any change of venue or she will absolutely lose her mind? And so on. Yes, nannies will do some of this. Kids still need parents and in most marriages, the mom does the vast majority of that plus is in charge of hiring the nanny and maintaining that relationship.

Thus, most of the time with little kids, it makes sense to live where the mom has the best support network, because she's doing more. I think that's why you see that Sophie has gone to great lengths to construct a home and lifestyle that will be supportive in that way, while Joe has a touring schedules that takes him into the middle of next year and doesn't even have a home. Dads often do not think about this stuff, they let mom do it. Well mom needs help.[/quote]

My husband did half of that stuff. Not 50% of every category you described, but 50% of the categories. Like, I dealt with activities and playdates and he dealt with food and bathing and sleep. And he has a much more demanding job than me. It depends on personality. Some men feel like “These are my kids. I brought them into the world and they are my responsibility.” And some men don’t. I don’t know which type JJ is (or Sophie is).[/quote]

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