Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven't even considered telling my kids. I can't imagine how that would be helpful to them. I hope they have a good relationship with their now Stepmother and it works out well for them. He gave up a lot to be in that relationship so good luck to them in leading a productive happy life. That's an environment I would love for my kids to be in when they're with their Dad. Is that the reality? Probably not, but his household and marriage are his business. I only care that my kids are good whenever they're there.[/quote]

There are real reasons why it's helpful to know the actual cause of trauma because those patterns of behavior are taught and then repeated. No idea if your ex was immediately with this person after separation, but then it would be an obvious conclusion and no need for words. I love how these posters don't bother telling their kid's ages like it doesn't matter. Sure when your kid is 8 they don't need to know many details (although I don't know how they don't see that Dad loves stepmom now), but when your adult child is sitting in a therapist's office about something, she or he isn't going to say "well my parents split up but I don't really know why. I don't think it really matters the reason." Whatever is said or not said, children will develop conclusions from what they hear and surmise. Omission does not lead to no thought.[/quote]

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