Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dramatic much? I have been having an affair for seven years with a guy who is open about the fact his marriage is pretty good, other than the infrequent, low passion sex. He never even said he doesn't get sex from his wife.  Neither of us want to leave our spouses in general, and we do not want to be married to each other. We both find the sex and friendship worthwhile and gives us somethings we don't get in our marriages. We have five kids between us. I don't see how it would be better to be transparent and blow up two families than to continue seeing each other. We haven't seen each other since early March, so it's not like we can't live without each other.[/quote]Don't bother.  I've tried explaining the obvious for more than 30 pages.  These women like to play dumb and live in denial bout how real life works.[/quote]

Actually it’s you who lives in denial about what you’re doing to your wife is wrong.  Yiu have said that it’s a 10 year horizon for you to consider divorcing your wife.  That’s just wrong and selfish of you to keep her in dark about your plans.   No need to put up with sexlessness, just divorce your wife so that she can find her future the way you are already planning your future while you keep her in the dark.  [/quote]Thanks, but I think  I'll run things my way.  You can have sympathy for her if you like but she's fine.  I don't remember what i said about ten years but I'm pretty sure I never said I have a ten year plan for divorcing her.  If she doesn't come around and wants to continue denying me sex or even talking about it, I'm sure we won't last ten years.  I did say it's day to day and it is.  For today, I'm managing alright, not that you care.  I know you have nothing but scorn for me.  But I feel alive again and I like looking forward to the next time I can see my AP.  Meanwhile, I'm nothing but kind to my wife where before, I didn't feel like she deserved any kindness when she didn't care how I felt at all.  Now, it doesn't matter and I don't resent her one bit.  She enjoys being sexless and I'm done fighting a hopeless battle I can't win.[/quote]

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