Reply to What was your thought process before bringing a step parent into your child's life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I would never remarry until kids out of the house. [b]I put my kids needs above my own though.[/b] [/quote]

You know this isn't healthy, right? I mean sometimes, yes. Lots of the time, yes. But not all of the time, no. [/quote]
+1
I have no idea where some people got the notion that that was ideal. [/quote]

YES. I am a whole person in my own right. [/quote]

No one is saying you're not a person in your own right. And if everything goes well in your life, then you won't have too much difficult making tough choices. But if you are in the unfortunate position of being a single parent (particularly if the other parent is not very involved in the picture and does not adequately share the responsibility with you), then the [b]right thing to do[/b] is prioritize the well-being of your kids above your own desires for a romantic life. [b]Plenty of people lead perfectly wonderful lives without a romantic partner. It is hardly a need. [/b]
[/quote]
You say this as if any presence of romantic life in one's life means the well-being of the kids cannot be prioritized anymore, as if romantic life is incompatible with the kids' well-being. That's BS. [/quote]

Sure, some people who don't find love after a divorce or death can still be WHOLE people, I don't think anyone is saying that, however if you do find love, why would you deny yourself the joys that come along with having a loving partner? You say it is hardly needed, which makes me think you have never really known REAL TRUE ROMANTIC LOVE, and if you have not, then that is fine, but to say "it is hardly needed", makes no sense to someone who is really in love. I do agree the new person needs to be a good fit for your family, etc, but you can still prioritize your kids needs while having a new partner. How do you think it works in a marriage? You have a love that is separate from your children, its a different relationship...right? Also, just because you are a bio parent does not mean that you have your kid's best interests in mind. I know several bio fathers/mothers who basically play no real role in their children's lives! The point is to find a good person/partner who shares in the love you give your children and participates in creating an environment that is healthy.  [/quote]

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