Reply to Sahms - what's your schedule during the week?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a SAHM now and I have never trusted anyone except my DH and my mom to look after my children.  Especially when I was a WOHM.   What does it tell you?  Nothing, except I found it difficult to trust people with childcare.

Now I am a SAHM with two out of the nest and one in HS. I have a cleaning lady, twice a week as well as a lawn maintainence person.  I have had them since before my kids were born - so more than 20 years.  They have been with us when I was having my babies and when I was WOH. I realized very early that instead of paying for therapy, I can pay for the cleaning person and I will be much happier in life. We are middle class for DC, and I am happy that I have good help and I have managed to retain them with excellent pay.

Having a babysitter, a nanny, a chauffeur, a cook, a personal trainer, a maid is nothing to be defensive about - regardless of if you are a SAHM or a WOHM.  You are actually helping the economy and you obviously have the money to afford this.   What is bad is not paying these people fair wages or treating them with disrespect.  (This also applies to people who do not pay contractors).

I love the luxury and peace of mind of having a domestic staff.  An absolutely clean and well maintained house is my thing and priority.  Some people like to spend their money on vacations and going out to eat or on spas.  I on the other hand like to have a well organized and clean house and yard.  DH and I host often, we have a thriving social life, my HS has friends over for projects and such. All this is possible for me only because I have help.

I am not a superwoman. Being the super-mom is tiring and fruitless.  I am however able to have a clean house, relaxed and peaceful atmosphere at home, no fights within the family, no resentments, ability of the family members to have hobbies, friends, or socialize - because someone else  helps me out.  I am grateful that I have that luxury.  My cleaning lady does more for the happiness of my entire family and frees us up to do the things we want to do, than any other relative or friend.   She is appreciated and she is rewarded.

If my post makes anyone go ballistic - oh well!

[/quote]

Not being snarky or judgmental, just curious - now that your kids are out of the house (or nearly, in the case of the HSer), what do you do all day? I agree with everything you said about the cleaning lady - I love a clean house and I hate cleaning! So if I were a SAHM I'd hate having to do chores and I'd probably want to outsource them too. But - what do you do?![/quote]

Someone else replied on my behalf before. 
I volunteer quite a bit, run the house (yes, cleaning lady and the yard person needs direction), cook, meet up with friends, pursue hobbies - painting, sculpting, host people, manage our money and different properties, relax, socialize, spend time with my husband, travel, help out family and friends etc.   I have also aged in the 20 years since I have had kids, and of all the things I would like to do - housework is not something that I am interested in.  I did not stay home to clean-up.  I stayed home to be with my kids, after making enough to retire young. I am not particularly materialistic, so I forgo "things" in lieu of "help". 
  [/quote]
[b]Why do these sahm posts always turn into wars? Op came here asking for advice and she's gets lots of sahms bragging about having tons of help. [/quote][/b]

x a billion. I'm a SAHM and I have a lot of questions about schedules and time management, etc etc but I feel like I can't ask without being attacked or having my thread high jacked. [/quote]

It's because your whole life is managing your kids and stuff around the house, and it isn't that hard. You just sound dumb if you can't figure these fairly basic things out independently.[/quote]

Yes, so true. Parenting  my 3 YO 2 YO and infant was not hard at all. Especially when my husband was traveling 12 days a month. When the eMBA started it was even more fun![/quote]

Wait, is that supposed to sound hard? Sounds like normal life stuff to me. Way easier than handling that and working. But it sounds like it was the most you had the capacity to handle. We all have different strengths and abilities.[/quote]

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