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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - On any level, basic manners and respect are important for any teen to understand child to understand by age 13.  Some family member(s) worked long and hard to prepare a Thanksgiving dinner (this was not some family pizza party) and some where along you forgot to teach your daughter respect as well as table manners.  It also seems that she has other skills to learn about and thankfully she has been caught in "a lie" early and is getting her tart tongue fried for doing so.  This may be teen girls being snarky today, but again, it does not make it appropriate.

I believe you need to focus on the immediate aspect of who is running your home - you or DD and call her on her table behavior.  This holiday weekend behavior makes perfect sense for you and DH (if relevant) to sit DD down at home and lay down the new ground rules for her phone use.  And this upfront will include that you must have password or whatever to access her phone usage at any time.   I would also say any sort of online account,too.  You need to also check your own behavior and be sure that you are not using your phone while driving, having conversations with her so that she learns to mirror balanced and safe usage.

***And while DD should at least be encouraged to write a thank you note to the family who hosted you all for the Thanksgiving holiday -- meaning pen and note card, leave it up to her to decide if she should mention anything about her phone usage as just getting her started on the idea of "thanking" others is more important [b]You will be the one to write in your thank you note an apology for the behavior of your daughter to whoever went out of their way not only to have the meal prepared, but to host you, a toddler, a teen etc.[/b]  I would take this as a lesson learned for both of you.[/quote]

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