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Reply to "MIL and her "alone time" with DH"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. This is the only trip we take basically and [b]my son never sees his dad because of work etc. DH has a very demanding schedule and works most weekends. My son lives to be with him when he can.[/b] My MIL is very controlling and everything is her way or no way. [b]I am not controlling and my husband has many hobbies and gets free time when he isn't working anytime he would like. [/b]I don't restrict him from doing anything. At home I'm basically a single mom so trips together are special. His mother has no respect for our family and us wanting to do things as a family with her included. She can come visit anytime as finances are far from an issue for her and she doesn't work so between her life of going on lavish trips around the world (as she should. I'm not shaming her for that at all), she could come visit and get her alone time. But instead she demands us to come to her but doesn't like us to really be with her but an hour a day except for her alone time with DH. My son has no clue who she is. It's sad but anyways I hate the alone time thing when we are on trips. DH said he would talk to her about leaving me the car. The hotel doesn't have an indoor pool but a restaurant. My 3 yo in a restaurant leaves much to be desired. I'm sure we can uber to a park if DH has the car.[/quote] The issue of your son never seeing his father is NOT your MILs fault, yet you are blaming her. Your husband excludes himself from spending time with his son while home. You enable him to abandon his parenting responsibilities by allowing him free time whenever he wants. I'm sorry, but there is far more dysfunction at home than there is at the once/year visit to grandma. If your son yearns for time with his dad, you and dad need to talk and arrange that this happens on a regular basis. You should not be waiting for the annual trip to grandma's to try and develop father-son interaction time. Your husband needs to set aside regular times he spends with his own son at home. If he works so much that he has limited time for free/spare time, then he needs to carve out some free/spare time for his son. As for the visits with your MIL, tell your husband very bluntly that when he has his alone visits with his mother, that you will take the rental car so that you and your son are not stranded wherever. If they can't drive his mother's car, then he gets to rent a second car. Alternatively, instead of staying close to her in suburbia, then pick a hotel that is close to amenities or public transportation that you and your son can use to get around and your husband can make longer drives out to the burbs where grandma lives for his visits. There are many solutions to your problems, but they all start with you actually communicating like an adult with your husband, stating what the issues are and finding a solution to the actual problems. In this case, you are letting your problems at home create problems on vacation or visits to grandma. While I understand frustration with your MIL, these would be annoyances rather than real problems if you had a more functional family relationship between you, your husband and your son at home. Start there. [/quote]
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