Reply to Ever know the "perfect couple" who wound up divorcing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My friends met freshman year at an Ivy. Got married right out of college and had their first child really young. Both became extremely successful in business and law,  had two more gorgeous children, big house, the most amazing hospitality.  Great friends, too.  She was the first one to bring me helpful items when I was pregnant. We vacationed with them a couple of times on the Outer Banks and they were really easy to share a house with.

Then our lives got busy, I stopped working at the same firm as him, /'s we fell out of touch. Fast forward a few years and I see him at my metro station in DC. Their big house was way out in MD. They were separated. He lived in an apartment.  According to him, they never got to become their own people because they married so young and for him, the "perfect" life was really stressful. He didn't want to have to constantly social climb, did want to find his own way. She felt like she wanted to do way more with her career and blamed her several year stint staying at home on him-- even though he didn't ask her to do it.

[b]All in all with them it seemed they couldn't make a decision for a lifetime at the age of 22, with the first person they dated[/b].

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I think the bolded applies to me although I am not sure people thought I was in a perfect marriage.  Met my husband at age 18, together 22 years, 16 of them married, now getting divorced.  I have almost zero dating experience and don't know how to conduct myself to gain some experience without being awkward.[/quote]

PP -- I was you, and I'm now 4 years post-divorce (44 years old, two children now 14).  About dating, I hear you - it is daunting.

My experience, in case it is helpful:  Once I felt ready to dip my toes in the water, I signed up for an online dating site and went about it with a "this is just practice" attitude.  Went on a lot of dates with a nothing ventured / nothing gained mindset - none terrible, most really good.  I met a lot of interesting men.  It was a shockingly good experience, and it really didn't take long to get comfortable and better at weeding out men with whom I wasn't likely to click / seeking out compatible men.

I've been with a fantastic guy for about a year and a half.  I'm very, very happy.

Anyway, bottom line is that I had to just get over the fact that my dating experience was nil.

Good luck!

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Hi PP!  I really appreciate that and so hope that your experience will be mine in a few years as well.  How soon after things were over with your XDH did you do this "practice dating"?[/quote]

Hi - A few months after the divorce was finalized.  We'd done the year of separation thing (Virginia), and I used that time to really dig in and get my self together mentally / physically / etc.

Wanted also to mention that I spoke with a close friend last night whose (non)dating / marriage / divorce history is similar to mine (and yours).  She's about 2 years post-divorce and just returned from a trip to Bryce Canyon with a man she met online who she's been seeing for about six months.  She was extremely pessimistic about post-divorce romantic life. She's is SO happy.

Again, good luck!

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