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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No

Op, think about it - - why should DIL and son always have to have THEIR Thanksgiving YOUR way? Your tradition. The way you always have done it. [/quote]

I have no problem with change, or with her hosting. But the way it was done, with no discussion, excluding lifelong friends who have been celebrating with us for much longer than she has been around, was callous.[/quote]

OMG.  Thank god I don't have you for a MIL.  [b]Why does it require discussion?[/b]  It probably was already discussed--with her husband.  You want to attend fine, you don't then fine too.  They get a say in their holiday.  They are adults.   And hello--it's 2016 Evite is fine.  You are just looking for reasons to be pissed off.[/quote]

In my family, before deciding who is hosting Thanksgiving or Christmas, there is usually a 3-4 week discussion beforehand. Everyone ultimately makes the choice that is best for them, but a discussion (i.e. "I'm thinking about hosting this year - what do you think?") helps us make sure that at least one of the "big" holidays involves all of the core family members.

Would it have been so hard for DIL (or son) to say to MIL "Hey, we're thinking about trying our hand at Thanksgiving this year, do you think you could make it?" MIL can then say"Well, we usually invite Tim and Mary to our Thanksgiving, they've been coming for 10 years - can they Join?" and then DIL or son could say "You know what, this year we were hoping it could be just family at our place, would you be ok with that?" and MIL could say "I love the idea of a Thanksgiving at your place, but we feel and obligation to Tim and Mary, so I think we'll have to decline. But if you want to host Christmas, we'd love to come!"

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