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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
No. [b]Research[/b]. It does not matter how good or bad a marriage is cheating happens at the same rate.

Mental illness, personality disorders, alcoholism, PTSD, bad coping mechanisms are all predictors of cheating.

I think it is very hard for people to take responsibility for their own actions, they always want to blame others. You should try to stop blaming others, you will increase your happiness level. good luck![/quote]

Cheating research is reliably bad. [b]Cheaters lie to pretend things are worse[/b], and those cheated upon lie to pretend that everything was heavenly. It wasn't. How can things be good if one person is willing to go outside the marriage, and one person thinks things aren't going well? It might be they have horrible communication skills, or it might mean the other spouse has horrible observational skills. But it never means the marriage is going well. Even if just ONE spouse is really unhappy, the marriage isn't doing well.

Just because you didn't notice the smell doesn't mean there isn't shit on your shoe.

[/quote]

You are kidding right... why would one person go outside the marriage if it is good. You don't know that happily married people cheat, lie, drink too much, etc. You think if you are happily married nothing bad happens in your life and you never do anything bad.

Or maybe they are happy with the marriage and ...

they have sex because that is how their self esteem has always be qualified.
Or maybe they have impulsiveness issues and just can't stop themselves.
or maybe they are depressed and they think an affair will fix it but it doesn't
or maybe they have anxieties and the high of an affair makes that feeling go away for a minute, of course like alcohol you wake up even more anxious.

sometimes there is no shit on the shoe ...

he says he is unhappy because you won't have an affair with him if he admits to being happy... it's the bait and you swallowed it. [/quote]

[b]My AP told me he was happy with his marriage [/b]when we had our first lunch date.  He continued to tell me he was happy when were were in bed the next day and throughout our way too long affair.  I never believed him.  How could he be happy and also see me everyday and tell me he loved me?  Was he really happy in in marriage?  I was happy enough in mine but the sex with AP was amazing.  Anyway - wifey hacked his secret email account the first time and found his burner phone the second.  Not sure why she stayed with him I guess she is happy too.[/quote]

I think some men have lower standards when it comes to marriage and don't depend on the marriage for their happiness.  They can be happy even if the marriage isn't that great.  My AP told me the same thing.  But if his marriage was so great why was he spending so much time on the phone with someone 20 years younger with little in common?  Why was he texting me all the time?  [/quote]

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