Reply to What does "single Mom" mean?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are benefits to being a married mom vs. a single/divorced/widowed mom.  Married moms generally have two parents in one household vs. two households, which can be hugely cost-effective.  And married moms don't have to worry about dating, which is a big bonus.  And you theoretically get sex without people judging you for it.  And married moms are more likely to have someone at home who is also responsible for the kids if they need to run out for a workout or a trip to the store.  Huge bonus.

So when some of us with coparents are saying we are social moms, it's not like we're doing it for the awesome benefits. There's a stigma.

Those of us who are single moms with help recognize that we have it easier than those without help.  [b]that said, there are benefits to being an 100% single mom. [/b] Like never having to share your kid on significant holidays.  It's annoying when your ex only has your kid once or twice a week but then gets 50% of the "good" holidays.  And sometimes having to plan around someone else's schedule, or having to plan things by committee, can be harder than just doing things solo.[/quote]

Unless and until you are 100% responsible for your kid(s), you don't get to tell anyone what the benefits of being a 100% single mom are. Yes, sharing custody has compromises, pluses and minuses, I get it. But sorry, that is NOTHING compared to being totally responsible for raising your kids. Financially, emotionally, all of it. It is not harder that just doing things solo, especially when you have more than one kid. Try being both mom and dad to your kid. Try soothing your child when their dad says he's going to call and then doesn't. Again. Watch your 14 year old son's face when your he screws up the courage to email his dad to ask if he can see him over the weekend and his dad tells him he's busy with friends. I would love it if my kids dad showed a shred of interest in his kids. We were married for 15 years - and I think it would be easier on the kids if he'd just died. At least that's an explanation they could understand.

So if I were you, be grateful that your ex shows interest in your kids, and while it may seem inconvenient to you, it really is best for them. I would love that for my kids.[/quote]

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