Reply to S/O disrespectful teen on the metro? What are we as parents doing wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Black woman here. Gen X. I grew up in a community We played and had campfires in the woods and had holiday parties and went caroling and trick-or-treating together. And in the city where I grew up my parents' parents, my aunts and uncles, my cousins all lived there, as well and there were few places I could go where someone didn't know me and my mother made it clear that I better not ever embarrass her in public, and that included having someone call her to say they saw me acting a fool.

I don't have children but this is how my siblings  and cousins have raised their kids. But that feeling of knowing that people were watching out for you, but also acting as eyes and ears for your parents -- that's gone. I think that's what's missing these days. [/quote]

I actually think this is huge. So many of us, myself included, have no local community. We've moved for schooling or jobs and find ourselves in new neighborhoods with people we don't know. So we're hesitant to correct other people's children because we don't know the families or the situations. We, of course, look out for children as normal people do, but don't know when to intervene. [/quote]

Agree with both of these. Look at how many posts we even have here, parents asking "should I say something?" A lot of advice is not to say anything, and many parents when told that their kid may have done wrong, go on offensive.  I am not saying punish your kid, but I have watched my SIL blame everything her DD does on the teachers, turned out it wasn't the teachers. My own sister who has no kids and is a bit younger, is constantly blaming everything on others.  Grown woman paid the invoice and instead of a bank account put the company's phone number on the form, blamed the bank clerk and blamed the company she is paying. My mom would hear something and barge in home from work and trash me first when I was a kid. There were many times she found out I wasn't to blame, didn't matter to her at all. Not saying this is right either.[/quote]

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