Reply to Two weeks to go and DS is shooting himself in the foot!!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The dynamic may be better with your DH being a go between. I know I tend to translate my internal angst into an outward verbal display and the kid just shuts down immediately. I thought I was urging action and providing support but my DD thought I was pressuring her. It could be your son is excited about the ideal of going off to college, yet is getting tripped up in the reality of going. Do whatever it takes to get him there, but hand holding is definitely part of the process. While I know finances are part of the conversation, you may want to downplay that aspect for now. He knows it's about money, do the work on the applications and hopefully the money will come. Parents tend to know the full implication of financial strain but kids can see it as a mysterious threat. [/quote]

OP again. Thanks for this post. I wonder if he feels I'm pressuring him, strangely, because I've never pressed him about grades or getting into a "good" college. I want him to go to a college where he'll be happy, but we have to be able to afford it. That's why DS's ingratitude irks me so. DH has already spoken with him about finances. I think it whizzed in one ear and out the other. DS seems to have no understanding about how much money college costs. We've always paid for his sports equipment and sneakers and gas for the car. At some level, he must believe we'll cover college costs too, despite the fact that we tell him we can't. I'm trying to breathe...breathe... and let DH handle things for now. [/quote]

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