Reply to What do you do if you sense your teen is treading toward loser-ville?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

The only thing that motivates him is getting to hang out with friends. Period. He doesn't give a crap about nice clothes, phone, computer, money, video games being taken away. Goofing around with friends is the only priority in his life. If you asked him "What do you like to do?" ... Re: "Hang with friends."[/quote]

That's fine. And that happens after his work is done.

His main work is school. He needs to be doing his schoolwork. Blackboard, etc., exist so that you can see what his assignments are. Every night: I'm looking at your assignments and I've see you have x, y, z due tomorrow, show me what you've done, no hanging out or going out until the work is done. Monitor grades on-line so you can see when assignments haven't been turned in. Honestly, I wouldn't focus on grades at all at first and instead focus intently on *turning in assignments.* The work must be done, period. This is the best lesson you can teach him right now.

Next, how is he doing so much hanging out? How is he getting there? Where is his money coming from? It's time for Junior to get a job and finance his own hanging out habits. You will not be providing pocket money any more. Getting a job is not optional. Doesn't need to be much. He can scoop ice cream on Saturdays. But he needs a place where he has to be, where someone tells him what to do, where his time belong to someone else for a while. Welcome to the working week, son.

Resistance should be met with straight talk. No need to yell or lose your cool. Calm and firm. If he can't comply with these simple requirements, you won't be paying for his phone. You won't be loaning your car. Etc. Etc. Privileges need to be earned.

Buck up, OP. It won't be fun but you can do this. You must.[/quote]

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