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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I get that you are sad and discouraged. But it's not hopeless. Long term marriages go through ups and downs. There have been times I have been repulsed by my DH. Then times when I have wanted him. Our desires do not always match. And, after doing some deep soul-searching (in my case with the help of therapy), I see that sometimes when I feel distant from him, I'm the one doing the pushing away.

The problem is that intimacy has withered between you. And you need to get that enjoyment, playfulness, back. You guys get along in so many other ways, it is worth the work to do this. Do you want to live the rest of your life with no passion? Because that is how it sounds like you are resigning yourself. Don't do that. You only get one life. You are an example to your children.

You guys could really benefit from counseling. You should look for free or low-cost options.

But in the meantime, I suggest you read a book called "Should you leave? A psychiatrist explores intimacy." It is *not* a simple book but a thoughtful exploration of intimacy over time and what people struggle with, and why.

I also suggest that both you and your DH read a book called "Passionate Marriage." Again, not a simple book. No simple answers. But it's thought-provoking.

I have a spouse who no longer works, and who I have at times been not at all interested in being intimate with. But it goes up and down, ebbs and flows. A lot of it has to do with me and how I am feeling. It may not all be your DH, but your own mood. Anyway, read these two books (get them for free from the library) and see how you feel. [/quote]

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