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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Okay OP and others, I have one more question about this approach. How do you not get mad at him? Let's say you feel like you do more and he's lazy. How are you able to just let things go and not feel resentful?[/quote]

I rarely ever get mad like that, I just don't. If he doesn't think mowing the lawn is a priority, I do it when I DO think it is a priority, or pay somebody to do it. But, my DH isn't lazy. If you think of what he does as an extra, a bonus, the side dollop of whipped cream next to your lovely cake of life, well, you get to enjoy that whipped cream. But I don't count on him to do more around the house because I am the one who cares about it. I care if the floors are clean? I wash them. I care if the cars are washed? I wash them. If I care that the children wash their faces before they leave the house? I ask them to wash them. Because if DH doesn't care about it, he just doesn't. And "forcing" him to do it ... not a good strategy.[/quote]

This is what I have started to realize. My frustration is when DH creates more work for me to have what I want. I spend a lot of time picking up only to turn around and find dirty dishes piled on the table I just cleaned or the counter that was clean. I have had to really adjust my expectations. If I want to keep it clean and stay married, I may have to clean up some of his crap. I streamlined some things, such as places to throw dirty clothes that looked neat. If his crap is piled somewhere, I just toss it in a basket on the landing.

I appreciate this thread, because I needed more tools if this is going to work for me.[/quote]

Yes, you have to clean up some of his crap. It just happens. Just like he has to XYZ for you because he cares more about whatever that thing is (a clean car, washed windows, cheap cable, whatever it is).[/quote]

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