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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm trying to incorporate elements of this but am buckling a little under the weight of I guess mourning what I thought was possible, realizing there is contempt from him towards me, missing sex and missing having interest in each other and our lives.  He's also having a minor emotional affair and ...I want so badly to not care anymore.  I can some days.

I am working on keeping myself busy and cultivating my own interests and networks.  I know I can't change any of his actions or emotions and I don't try.  Did you have a mourning period before not caring?[/quote]

I don't think it is not caring. It is prioritizing yourself while including/being nice to spouse. Like the PP said, I'm making XX for dinner. Oh, you don't want it? I'm sorry, make yourself ZZ. But this isn't about not caring entirely. I'll make DH's favorites, too. This is about caring for yourself, doing the things you want, inviting your spouse, and allowing them the space to partake. He/she could do this to you, too. DH: I'd like to go bowling, do you want to come?  Regardless of what my answer is, he gets to do what he wants. If I want to go, great, we have  a good time. If I don't, that's OK, he can STILL have a good time.

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