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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you're being very thoughtful about a difficult issue.  Personally, I would tell my husband that I would prefer that my son not be circumcised, but that the ultimate decision would be his, and I would support him either way.  I would make clear that it's because if we circumcised our son, it would be because of his religious background and cultural connections, and he's really the only one who can decide whether it's something that would be meaningful to him or just an empty ritual.  If the latter, then I would prefer that my kid not be cut just for the sake of "tradition."  [/quote]

Thank you.  This is sound advice.  I may have to take it, for my own sanity!  I think he feels, like me, that ultimately it's not important enough as a thing in itself to affect our relationship. Which is why we've been going back and forth individually and together, because we both feel that way about each other and about religion, and the other data aren't really settling it.

Must say this discussion has been very helpful to me, because I've realized that it's the social and cultural feedback vs. the religious per se that I was feeling swayed by. But I actually don't believe we should do things like this just because other people do them and I don't want to pass that on to my child.  Clarifying that to myself helps me face the imaginary disappointment of others. If they are going to feel that strongly about circumcision/Jewish identity or whatever they probably secretly think I'm a shiksa, so then why should I hope my son will be accepted for his circumcision?

[/quote]

NP - I think PP above has the right way of looking at this, and it's what I'd have done in a similar situation.

My baby boy is uncircumcised, even though my husband is.  We are not Jewish.  I decided that I didn't want my son to undergo surgery for what is essentially just a cosmetic procedure.  And I figured that he could always BE circumcised but he could never be UN-circumcised.

If your husband's family follows a sect of Judaism that says children must be born of Jewish mothers to be Jewish, circumcising him will not make him Jewish and will not cause the family to be more accepting of him, as you reason above.  For those reasons, I would push strongly to not circumcise, and would only agree to do so if your husband REALLY made a compelling argument for it.[/quote]

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