Reply to We offered to pay for my sister's kids to go to private

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, from someone who has turned down an offer from a family member to pay for my kid to go to private school, I'd like to tell you why we made our decision.

We completely were grateful for the offer and thought it was very generous.  But like others have said, the move would be difficult for our kid.  But more importantly, We were worried that while the offer was good this year (and next, and next and next) we never knew when the family member would either choose to stop paying for the school or be unable to pay.

It put us in a situation where we felt if we ever got into a heated argument, or they didn't like something we did or didn't do, they'd no longer pay tuition - and even if they didn't stop paying, we would feel very weird if, let's say, we were fighting or arguing about something and they whipped out their check to pay for the next tuition payment.  Along the same lines, we don't know their specific financial situation.  they say they could cover it, and wanted to, but we weren't in control of their finances (of course) so we'd never know when or if they would be unable to pay for one semester or year.  We are in no way even remotely able to cover a private school tuition so if they didn't pay, our kid would be out.

that put us in a very awkward position.  We didn't want to gamble with our kid's teenage social/adjustment by potentially being put in, pulled out, and put back into a private school.  [/quote]

THANK YOU. Money comes with strings attached. Would OP's sister want to be forever indebted to a someone who thought she was a stupid loser? I think not.
[/quote]

This, exactly.  MIL offered to pay for our kids to go to private and we declined for these reasons.  We were appreciative of her offer but we were not confident that the offer would be renewed each year - whether because of a change in MILs circumstances or because of unspoken strings attached to the gift (even if MIL herself did not intend there to be strings at the outset).  She reacted with righteous indignation, which frankly made it easier to feel confident in our decision to decline ...[/quote]

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