Reply to I don't love my husband and don't think I ever did

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Reply to "I don't love my husband and don't think I ever did "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
To the PP who is a DH in a happy marriage, what if you both try but, for example, when you get each other little gifts they are just off or wrong, because you aren't compatible and don't "get" each other? What if you like different foods so it is hard to cook together or for each other? Maybe when you were dating you compromised more to be agreeable, you pretended to like the little gifts to be polite (and you thought it was nice that the person even tried to get gifts), and you possibly didn't fully realize your own tastes and even values until later. Or you just changed. Maybe you both changed and what was once right or at least okay became wrong.

From reading all the great posts above: [b]Perhaps one crucial requirement is for each person to know who they truly are, and to authentically be living the life they want to live, before choosing a partner.[/b] 
[/quote]

Would that it were possible, before it was "too late." But yes, this.[/quote]

I'm the happy DH.  Yes, I agree with the above sentiments.  For example, my wife was married for 14 years to her high school sweetheart.  This is her second marriage.  Some of our wisdom is due to her experiences having made a less perfect choice the first time around.  We met in our 30's.  We met when I was 33, and I married for the first time at age 37.   Although it was hard being single much longer than most of my peers, I did learn much more about myself by waiting until later.  My wife also learned much more about herself, unfortunately the hard way, by experiencing two people who didn't know each other, but loved each other young and marrying and later discovering that they were two different people with different preferences and that they had grown apart.  They ended their marriage somewhat amicably, but still had to divorce because as you point out, they were not as well matched as they seemed when they were young and knew less about themselves.[/quote]

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