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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
People always minimize their own impact on a situation, so ' I doubt you tried  3 or 4 times or only  said no to sex when he initiated in the immediate post partum.
It's the 4th page now so people have probably forgotten, but way back on the first page  you say he asked you for lingerie and a lap dance which you have decided not to do.
You seem to believe in the stereotype that you should just show up to bed, take of your shirt, give a  BJ and that should be enough he should just be ready. Not always how it works.

I know you posted here to be validated by the sex starved men and the  women who will just tell you  are right just because you are female, but my diagnosis is you both share in this. It seems like the two of you are not willing to compromise and meet each other's  needs it's all my way or the highway which is a death sentence to a happy healthy sex life and marriage.[/quote]

I don't think she's nearly as attractive as she thinks she is. At first she mentions baby weight (always a red flag) but then claims she's 5-5/110  :roll: . I, like you, believe that OP's the type of woman who sits on her rear and never lifts a finger for anything: sex, dinner, dates, etc. The man is to ALWAYS initiate while she sits on her fat little rear and has everything handed to her.

Sorry, I'm not buying it.[/quote]

Hmmmmm.  You've sure figured out a lot about OP from her saying very little.  Regardless if she's attractive to you, she was once attractive to her husband.  She doesn't want to have sex with you.  She wants to sleep with her husband. [/quote]

Thanks PP for defending me :) it seems like after 4-5 pages the threads often take a more aggressive route... I tried to explain to other nice posters who made constructive suggestions (such as "did I reject him before etc..") that I was indeed probably a very average lover, not a lazy starfish, but not a sex goddess for sure. I am enthusiastic, open and willing to have sex. Sure, that's not much, but as a rule of thumb if he was just as average as me we would have no problem having sex 2 or 3 times a week because our simple goodnight cuddle would effortlessly evolve into sex. I am sure most people would understand what I mean, it doesn't have to start with a lap dance, step by step you feel the desire growing, you each do a tiny move, and one tiny move after the other, the gentle back stroke has transformed into a very clear sexual caress..

As for the reality of my attractiveness...This is an anonymous forum so I am not sure it makes sense to try to respond. I may be delusional and overestimate myself, (although t I don't think I actually wrote that I was very attractive?). I am actually in a weird position where I regularly change my mind, I feel ugly and unattractive in front of my husband and way more attractive outside of my home. I am really 5"5 and 110 pds, if that matters, I say impact of child birth because my belly is not as thin as before, my boobs not as perky and my face has lost the "baby" fat that makes women look less than30. But in all objectivity I can see from men's reaction that I am probably attractive enough.

But as previous PP said, what I pretend about my level of attractiveness or what it really is  doesn't actually matter.  What  matters is that He used to find me pretty,  he still says he does. But he doesn't even really look at me that way. Case in point,I used to avoid getting casually undressed in front of him, before you jump on my back what  I mean Is I wouldn't just go about my business as if he wasn't there because I wanted my body to look good, so either I am undressing for him and I do it well, or if it is in a rush after the shower, I don't just walk around with half an ugly bra on while brushing my teeth and trying to give the bottle to a toddler. Just trying to keep some mystery and glamour basically. Anyway, long story short: I changed my strategy and decided to spend more time casually naked. Walking around the room. And he doesn't look. He doesn't even raise his head. That's when I got depressed .. I look at him when he is naked or half naked, and I like looking at him. His formerly well defined torso is now a melted dad bod and I still find pleasure stealing a look.

I am wondering if it is because he is seeing me as mostly a mother now  (and seeing me giving birth, I told him not to look but he insisted ), that has killed all sexual interest for me :(

Lastly : apologies in advance for the Approximate English, I am a foreigner (no cultural implication for him though, he is American and FWIW I am a European) 
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