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[quote=Anonymous]NP. I agree that your marriage is over, OP, and your husband has been over it for a long time. He does not care about you. He's never going to validate or empathize, because he just does not care. Everything you've described makes that crystal clear. You can't make someone care. And you deserve better, you know that?

You gave it every chance. You're having trouble accepting it's over. And what makes it tougher is that he strings you along and pretends he's working on it, but he's just going through the motions. As people say, he may have a plan to leave at some point. He'll always blame you for everything, no matter what you do.

So what should you be focusing on instead of trying to bail out this sinking ship of a marriage? You should get individual counseling for yourself, and for your son. Focus on healing yourself and getting strength to deal with what's to come. Focus on helping your son get through this in healthy way.

He involved your son in his deceptions, teaching your son it's fine to disrespect, betray, and lie to you, putting another woman ahead of you. You're the most important woman in your son's life. If you accept this treatment of you, you have a hand in teaching your son it's okay, and it will negatively affect how he acts towards women in his future.

Your son should be seeing a therapist, because he must be full of anger and confusion. He doesn't know better and needs someone with sense and integrity to help him sort things out so that he doesn't repeat this same thing in his life.

And don't be the martyr to your son. Be the strong woman who calmly defines to him what is acceptable and ethical treatment towards those you love, and move forward. Dad has issues and Dad made mistakes, and Dad doesn't love Mom anymore. Son is not to blame for anything. Separate, be positive, and take no more crap. [/quote]

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