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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP , Please recognize that you are using the golden rule to the extreme.

You have the money and you control what happens. My advice is that you are being for too cheap and that you are maybe only four years away from her not needing any of your money.  My roommate in college had everything paid for by her very generous parents.  That would be great except they would pull out "we pay for everything" anytime they had a chance.  If they came to visit for the weekend (which they did when there was a football game) she was expected to do everything that they asked and never have plans or an opinion on anything.  Literally one of her fathers favorite lines (which I heard a number of times) was "DD if I want to hear your opinion on something, I'll tell you what to think. Now know your place and hush".  Her father used the same thing with her mother who for some reason was more than OK with it.

After graduation she had enough of her father and gradually cut him out of her life. It was very sad and highlighted that a one way relationship dictated by one person who has all the power has the potential to blow-up in the future.

Tread carefully and discuss this with your daughter.  Listen to her and try to agree on a plan.[/quote]

Just wanted to mention that most parents who pay for everything are NOT like your roommate's father.  Sounds like that was one very extreme example, and that he was an incredible bully who no one would stand up to.

My parents very generously paid for everything for me through college, and I never forgot how kind that was.  They certainly never tried to control me by virtue of holding the financial reins.  On the contrary, they were always urging me to try new things, study abroad, etc.  I graduated with no debt and a very clear sense of wanting to do the same for my own future kids.  [/quote]

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