Reply to Spouse caring for ailing parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Think of the wonderful example he's setting for your kids when you are the ones dying.

Outsource as much as you can at home. Cleaning, take out, paper plates/cups. Whatever you need.

Sounds like you have a good husband OP. [/quote]

No it doesn't! It sounds like FIL has a son he doesn't deserve but OP doesn't have a husband she does deserve. This is so ridiculously excessive. I can't believe it's happening on the same forum that goes crazy when someone is upset their parents won't babysit their children in an obvious emergency.[/quote]

:roll: I am impressed that OP's DH is taking care of his parents.  The wife needs to take advice from others to outsource and take help from others.  [b]The harpies with bad marriages on DCUM should be ignored. 
[/b]
Yes, it is extremely hard. All worthwhile things are hard. [b]Taking care of your family, of each other, of yourself[/b] - all these things are hard, but the rewards are great,

[/quote] This.  In DCUM land, being "hard" means time to bail.  For all of the talk of narcissistic  inlaws, the women posting here seem to have no compassionor understanding beyond their  own wants and [b]needs[/b].  [/quote]

Wait you fail to realize is that OP's husband fails to see anyone's needs other than his own - his need to direct all of energy and emotions into his father.  His father may be terminal but the kind of time her husband is spending away from his family is well beyond what is sustainable for a healthy marriage.  You seem to be oblivious that his behavior is moving his marriage into the 'bad' category.  Who is attentive to OP's needs?  Clearly, she's been carrying a heavy load for a long time and is spent.  She's on a path that leads to poor mental health.

Having been through this myself, I can tell you this behavior doesn't lead to great rewards.  We all have to juggle priorities in our lives, including when someone has a terminal illness.  If OP has been experience this for 6 months, her FIL's death has not been imminent.  Her husband is clearly has unresolved mental health issues.  It takes two to have a marriage and if he's not willing to work with her to make it work then he doesn't deserve OP.  [/quote]

+1
That Ops husband is so slavishly devotes to his absentee father suggests he has serious issues.[/quote]

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